Cutting Off My Parasite Family

The first time I brought my boyfriend home, my mother was sitting on the floor tearing open blind boxes, dressed in a Lolita outfit with her hair in twin pigtails.

I hauled her up off the floor, furious, and lowered my voice.

"Mom, didn't I tell you I was bringing my boyfriend over today? Why are you still dressed like this?"

Instead of answering, she puffed out her cheeks and started whining at full volume.

"Aww, my blind boxes just got here, of course baby has to open them right away, baby couldn't wait!"