First Married Day, Mother-in-Law Shamed Me; We Flipped Tables

On the first day of my marriage, I had barely sat down when my mother-in-law came over carrying a plate of tough old celery. "Livvy, by the rules of this house, a new bride eats nothing but celery for her first three days here." "We call it celery for diligence. Your education isn't up to my Jarvis's level, so from now on you'll need to work a little harder in how you carry yourself and get things done." Beside her, my brother-in-law took small sips of the top-shelf whiskey I'd brought and chimed in his agreement.