Let the Wasteland Stay in the Past

On my birthday, my girlfriend Kathleen said she had a surprise for me. I thought she was finally going to say yes to my proposal, so I showed up dressed to the nines, nervous and thrilled. But when I got to the restaurant, the friend I'd cut ties with years ago was sitting in my seat, holding a bouquet of flowers. "Grant, long time no see. Happy birthday." He gave me a playful wink.