Chapter 4

Coming home from work that evening, I heard laughter from inside the apartment.

I pushed the door open. My mother, who hadn't come to see me in years, sat on the sofa flipping through a stack of photos, smiling to herself, pleased.

When she saw me, the smile cooled.

"So you do come home. The second I'm not around, you bully your sister. She nearly cried herself sick this afternoon. Good thing Tim was here."

So she'd come all this way just to back Sophie up.

In the old days, whenever work wore me down and I told him I missed him, he always said, hang in there, your sister's at home, I can't get away.

Sophie tugged at my mother's sleeve.

"Auntie, my sister didn't mean it."

She sighed.

"You. You're just too kind for your own good."

Then she held the photos out to me.

"Here. Don't say I don't care about you. Your sister won't have to wear the wedding gown to the cemetery after all. We took pictures instead, and we'll burn them for your late aunt when the time comes."

Beautifully done portraits. Besides a few solo shots of Sophie, there were photos of just her and Tim, and two of the three of them together.

They looked so at ease with each other.

On our old anniversaries, forget portraits, when I wanted a single couple's photo from a date, Tim said finding the right angle was a waste of time. To this day my phone holds only a few blurry shots of us.

The kitchen door swung open and Tim came out carrying dishes.

"Dinner's ready."

A whole table of the heavy, spicy food Sophie liked. Just the smell of it set the wound that hadn't healed aching again.

He saw me standing there and pointed at the pot.

"I stewed a pot roast for you. Have some in a bit, to build your strength back."

He walked over and lifted the lid, then went still.

He'd forgotten to turn on the burner. The meat inside was still raw.

My mother waved a hand.

"It's fine, she can just eat whatever's around. Didn't I make dumplings and mail them over? Boil some of those."

I drew a slow breath.

"No need. I've already eaten."

Then I went back to the bedroom and started packing.

After dinner, Sophie came running in.

"Sis, are you coming with us too?"

I paused.

She smacked her own forehead.

"I forgot to tell you. Auntie wants us to go back and stay a few days. It happens to be my mom's death anniversary."

I looked at Tim, who had come out wheeling a suitcase.

"You have the time?"

His face went awkward.

"I took vacation days."

Once, on my own time off, I'd wanted to go somewhere and asked him to take leave and come with me. He said no. He said he was saving those days for our wedding.

I laughed, calm.

"Fine. You go."

My mother came over.

"He's going, so you're going too. When you're back you'll apologize properly to your late aunt, and you'll promise never to bully your sister again."

I nodded.

Going back once was fine. After all, I was leaving the day after tomorrow.

Early the next morning the car we'd arranged pulled up downstairs, and only then did we find there were just three seats.

Sophie spoke up timidly.

"Sorry. When I booked it, Sis hadn't said she was coming, so I only put down three people."

My mother paused.

Tim said flatly, "It's fine. She knows the way, she can just book her own car. We'll see her back at the house."

My mother had no objection.

Even though I'd sensed it coming, being actually left behind still put an ache through my chest.

He glanced at me.

"Send me the plate number and your location once you're in the car. I'll come pick you up."

I said nothing and watched them go.

Just as well. Some goodbyes were never meant to be made with any fanfare.

Back inside, I spent a day erasing every trace of myself from that home.

I spent a day handing off the last of my work.

Before I left, I deleted my fingerprint from the lock and set the watch he'd given me on the entryway shelf.

As I was boarding, I saw the three of them together in a photo my mother had posted, and relatives who didn't know any better all said the two of them made a fine match.

She replied with a smiley sticker and said nothing else.

I knew what she meant.

After I tapped like, a message came in from Tim.

【Your aunt's finger slipped and she posted the wrong one. I've already had her change it. When are you setting out?】

I replied.

【Right now.】

He wrote back.

【Tell me when you arrive, I'll pick you up. Try to be quick, don't make me wait too long.】

I didn't reply. I blocked him, deleted him, and swapped in a new SIM card.

No. There'd be no more waiting, ever.

The future I was going to was one without you.