Chapter 1

My boyfriend had a habit of losing his memory, and every time, he was sure my best friend was his girlfriend.

Whenever it happened, he'd do all the things couples do—with her.

Holding hands, hugging, kissing…

To prove that I was the one he was dating,

I kept a whole archive on my phone: kissing photos, chat logs,

and videos of the people around us confirming we were the real couple.

Each time his memory came back, Cole Harding would pull me close with all the guilt in the world and drop to his knees, begging me to forgive him.

By the ninety-ninth time, Cole's memory finally held, and he arranged a whole proposal for me.

To keep him from relapsing, I followed quietly behind him the entire way.

Until I turned a corner and, by accident, overheard him talking to his friend Lambert Donaldson.

"In a bit I'm going to pretend I've lost my memory and propose to Nellie."

"Do me a solid and cover for me, man. Don't let her make a scene."

"But, Cole, you've already tricked Lindsay Swanson ninety-nine times. Isn't that enough?"

"If she really figures it out this time, you won't be able to walk it back."

The air went so still it felt frozen.

It was a long moment before I heard Cole lower his voice, unwilling to let go.

"I can't stand not marrying Nellie."

"One last lie. Once Nellie and I have the wedding, I'll settle down and live with her."

…

My vision slowly blurred, and around the corner the conversation kept going.

There was a thread of hesitation in Lambert's voice.

"Cole, maybe just let this one go. Lindsay really seems to care about this proposal."

"She even told us guys specifically to make the photos look nice. Doing this to her…"

He didn't finish, but everyone knew what he meant.

Cole gave an unbothered, cold snort.

There was mockery in his tone.

"Afraid she'll make a scene?"

"Relax, she won't actually get angry. I'll smooth it over afterward and it'll blow over."

"Just keep her steady for a bit. Once she sees I've lost my memory again, she'll stop."

I stood rooted where I was, my whole body stiff.

For some reason Lambert choked up for a second, his face full of confusion.

"Cole, honestly, do you like Lindsay or not?"

"Normally you won't even let her touch water, you fuss over a little cut for ages, but you've been seeing her best friend on the side for four years. Aren't you afraid you'll blow up their friendship?"

Cole laughed.

"Of course I don't like her."

"Lindsay's too well-behaved, too proper in bed, no fun at all. Nowhere near as exciting as Nellie."

"If the Swanson family couldn't give me a leg up, I'd have broken it off with her ages ago."

He let out a long sigh.

"Tell me—wouldn't it have been perfect if the daughter the Swansons brought home had been Nellie?"

I stood in the corner, my chest horribly hollow.

Tears slid down my face onto the back of my hand, so scalding they seemed ready to burn through my skin.

Lambert sucked in a breath, his voice uneasy and unsure.

"Cole, you've really got some nerve. Sure, Lindsay's crazy about you, but her father, Lawrence Swanson, is no pushover."

"If he finds out you're treating his daughter like this, won't he tear you apart alive?"

Cole was startled for a second, then laughed even louder.

"What's there to be afraid of? His precious daughter's whole future happiness is in my hands. He'd dare touch me?"

"You have no idea how much Lindsay loves me."

"All I have to say is that I've lost my memory, and even if I slept with Nellie right in front of her, she'd swallow it."

"Last time Nellie and I went up to the summit to watch the stars, and on the way back I forgot to bring her along. She walked the mountain road alone the whole night, legs all swollen, and she never blamed me for it afterward."

"She probably doesn't even know it herself—she really is a masochist."

Then he clapped Lambert on the shoulder and bragged,

"You have to keep her steady for me later. Don't let her ruin my proposal."

A masochist.

My heart wrung tight.

And yet I couldn't stop the urge to laugh.

All these years, what exactly had Cole seen me as?

A useful tool for a marriage alliance, or an object to satisfy his urge to hurt someone.

Just how low did I have to be for him to believe

that no matter how he treated me, I'd never leave.

I drew a deep breath. I couldn't listen to another word.

I turned and walked away first.

In the restroom, I looked at myself in the mirror.

Eyes red-rimmed, makeup a mess.

My lashes clumped together in stringy strands, black eyeliner smudged all around my eyes.

Just like this relationship, already rotting and turning foul from the day he decided to "lose his memory."

I pressed my lips together in silence and wiped away, bit by bit, the makeup that had taken me a full four hours to do.

Cole probably didn't know that back when his memory first started slipping so often,

my father had already arranged another match for me.

Since being with me was such a strain for him,

I'd give him what he wanted.

From now on I'd step out of his entire world, and he'd never see me again.