Chapter 1

Hubert Henson's parents drowned, and it left him terrified of water. Utterly, completely terrified.

After he came to live with my family, I sat outside the bathroom door every night while he showered.

For him, I never went back to the aquarium. I didn't even dare drink water in big gulps.

The year of the SATs, I turned down a top art school and stayed in the city to study psychology.

All so I could heal what was broken in him.

Until Gertrude Harding came along. For the first time, he refused to let me come with him, and agreed to go white-water rafting with her instead.

I rushed to stop him, and he shoved me away.

"Gigi's right. I'm afraid of water because you never let me face it on my own."

My whole heart dropped into ice.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ellie, you're so careful about everything. It makes me feel like I can't breathe."

I suddenly thought of the acceptance letter I'd set down with my own hands at eighteen.

I sent my teacher a message.

"Teacher, is it still possible to get back on track?"

If he didn't want this anymore, then let everything start over.

1.

"It is."

Two words, and I nearly broke into tears.

Hubert finished settling the rafting date with Gertrude,

then turned and saw my face streaked with tears.

Worry flickered in his eyes.

"Ellie, what's wrong?"

I flinched away from his hand before it could reach my tears.

His hand froze in midair,

and for a long moment he didn't pull it back.

He sighed, helpless. "Ellie, what I said just now wasn't me blaming you."

"It's just... you've protected me too well."

"But I want a taste of freedom too."

Hearing that,

a bitterness spread through my mouth with no edge to it.

My family and the Hensons went back generations, and he and I grew up side by side.

The three of them took a cruise vacation, and something happened out on the open sea.

Out of everyone on that ship, Hubert was the only survivor.

The day my parents brought him home,

he hadn't had water in ages. His lips were cracked and peeling.

The sight of water frightened him. No matter how my parents coaxed him to drink, he wouldn't.

In the end it was me who carefully covered his eyes and slipped a straw to his lips.

After that, my parents put me in charge of caring for him,

and I began to stay by his side without a step's distance between us, day after day.

He was afraid to shower, so I sat outside the bathroom door and talked to him.

As a child I loved swimming most of all, and because Hubert once said he didn't want me to go, I never went again.

He grew up still afraid of water, only he stopped letting it show.

For him, I changed my applications without hesitation and switched to psychology.

Back then, Hubert would always hold my hand.

"Ellie, when I was sinking and rising in the deep, you were the only light on the shore."

And now, in every way he could, he was calling me too controlling.

Gertrude cut in right on cue.

"Miss Fox, I'm not trying to take Hubert from you. I just think he should have thoughts of his own."

"He's afraid of water, so shouldn't he face it? Isn't that all the more reason?"

I opened my mouth, and looked up to find Hubert gazing at Gertrude with nothing but admiration.

As Gertrude and I settled into opposite sides,

Hubert stepped back half a pace and stood beside her.

"Ellie, I think Gigi's right."

A dense, stinging ache crept up around my eyes,

and my throat, choked with emotion, finally forced out the words.

"Hubert, I understand. I won't interfere with you anymore."

His brows knit tight.

"Ellie, saying things out of anger again. I only want to go with Gigi to get better."

Hearing it, all I felt was how absurd it was.

I'd studied psychology all those years, earned all those certificates,

and he didn't believe me. He believed Gertrude's few sentences of nonsense.

Seeing that I stayed silent, Hubert let out a soft sigh, his voice full of helplessness.

"Ellie, let me try. Please?"

I nodded. "Go, then."