Chapter 1

On New Year's Eve, my little sister, Joy, begged me to play hide-and-seek.

The moment I covered my eyes and counted to thirty, the eraser in my brain moved again.

I stood frozen in place for a few seconds.

Then, I turned around, went back inside, and started watching TV.

An hour later, my mom knelt in front of me.

"Elena, where is Joy?"

Joy?

I blinked. "I don't have a sister, do I?"

My mom's expression shattered instantly.

Everyone abandoned the New Year's Eve feast and rushed out into the heavy snow.

But they couldn't find Joy anywhere.

My mom raised her hand and slapped me hard across the face, her eyes bloodshot.

"Did I not tell you to watch her? To stay by her side and not leave her for a single second?"

"Where is she now?! Which way did she go? Tell me!"

She shoved me hard, and I fell onto the freezing, snowy ground.

"Why couldn't it be you who got lost, you idiot! You don't remember anything anyway!"

"This time you forgot your sister. What's next? Forgetting your father and me?!"

My mom wanted to rush at me and hit me again, but my dad held her back.

They wouldn't stop crying.

I felt so bad, too.

Yeah... Why wasn't it me, the stupid one, who got lost?

My dad tightly grabbed my mom's hand, stopping it just inches from my cheek.

"Enough!" My dad's voice was hoarse. "She's sick, Clara. She's sick, don't you get it?"

"It's because she's sick that I told her not to take Joy out of the house!"

My mom wrenched her hand free, but she didn't come any closer to me.

She just stared at me with those bloodshot, furious eyes.

"She is only four years old... It's freezing and snowing like crazy. Where could she have gone?!"

Four years old?

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out.

There was absolutely nothing in my mind.

Except for the cartoon that had just replayed on the TV, and the snowflakes dancing in the wind.

Hearing the noise, the neighbors started gather around.

"Let's look again. A kid can't run too far. Maybe she went to a friend's house?"

My dad pulled my mom up.

"What are you doing sitting here? Get up and help look! You can't talk sense into her anyway!"

My mom's eyes cleared for a second. "Right! I need to find my Joy..."

Without looking at me again, she grabbed a flashlight and rushed outside.

The crowd of neighbors followed, shouting my sister's name.

I stood alone in the dark, my mind completely blank.

"Joy... isn't Joy my name?"

My memory drifted back to when I was three.

Back then, my mom and dad used to call me Joy, too.

"Elena! What are you standing there for? Get moving and help find your sister!"

Elena.

Why did my name change again?

Whatever. I couldn't figure it out, so I stopped trying.

Just as I stood up, I heard shouts in the distance.

"We found her! Joy is here!"

Everyone rushed toward the Old Oak Tree at the edge of town, where there was a shallow pit partially covered by snow.

My sister was inside.

Her face was purple, and her hair was frosted with icicles.

My mom let out a agonizing scream and threw herself over her.

"Joy... My baby, Joy!"

As if sensing something, my sister opened her eyes. But she looked straight past our mother and stared at me.

"Elena... why didn't you come find me?"

She started to cry.

"You promised you'd come find me when you counted to thirty. I hid so well. I was waiting for you the whole time..."

My mom snapped her head around to glare at me. Then, she gently set my sister down and walked over.

Slap!

The blow landed anyway. My left ear rang instantly.

"Are you happy now?"

My mom's voice trembled with pure rage. "Are you happy seeing her almost freeze to death?"

"How did I give birth to a monster like you?"

"This disease... this goddamn disease! It makes you forget your sister, forget us. Are you going to forget who you are next?!"

Her tears finally spilled over.

"Or... did you do this on purpose? Pretending to forget, just to leave her to die in the freezing snow?"

"Enough."

My dad finally spoke, but he only wrapped Joy tighter in his coat. "Let's get Joy inside to warm up. The ambulance is almost here."

No one stood up for me.

I didn't even know how to defend myself. It was my fault, after all.

My mom gave me a hateful look.

"You stay right here. Feel exactly how cold and terrified your sister was just now!"

They turned and walked away.

Seeing this, the neighbors didn't know what to say and headed back to their own homes.