Chapter 2

"So you really are trying to get pregnant behind my back?"

The pressure in her eyes as she said it was all too familiar to me.

It was the same reproach she used when a subordinate had made a mistake.

I countered:

"And if I were? Would you still let me get a vasectomy?"

Astrid's tone turned sharp at once, and she blurted out:

"Not now!"

Realizing her attitude had been harsh, she sat on my lap and coaxed me:

"Morgan says Nora's felt very insecure since the divorce. If we have a child now, it'll hurt her mental health."

"So while you're not pregnant yet, go ahead and get the vasectomy done."

"When Nora is grown and can take over the company, if you still want one, I can take you to get it reversed, or we can do IVF. By then Morgan should feel at ease too."

Nora is six this year. That means I'd have to wait twelve years.

And even then it would depend on whether Morgan agreed at that point.

Astrid kissed the side of my face gently.

I used to be captivated by this tenderness hidden beneath her cool, aloof, refined exterior.

But right now there was none of the flutter I used to feel.

I pulled free of her and stood, smiling sarcastically:

"Am I going to spend my whole life making concessions for your ex-husband and your daughter?"

Astrid paused, irritation seeping into her eyes:

"When you married me, didn't you know I was divorced and had a daughter? Bringing this up now — what's the point?"

"When Morgan and I split up, part of the fault was mine. Being a single father isn't easy. I can't just leave him with no help."

Listening to her, I only found it absurd.

Even though Morgan took custody, most of the time he leaves Nora here to live.

After all, Astrid and he were each other's first love, and they'd been married for several years.

They divorced over clashing tempers, but she always felt guilty toward him, and let him do as he pleased.

I'm the one working and caring for Nora at the same time. What exactly is so hard for him?

Seeing there was no common ground, Astrid picked a box of stomach medicine out of the medicine cabinet and headed for the children's room.

Her tone was indifferent:

"Calm down first. I'm going to check on Morgan. He gets a stomachache whenever he's upset."

Beside me, Lena murmured quietly:

"All these years, Ms. Henson has never forgotten that only that one brand of stomach medicine works best for Mr. Mason."

"It's a foreign brand, the instructions are all in English, and the print is so small — I used to not even know it was stomach medicine."

"But Ms. Henson remembers it better than anyone. Even after the two of them divorced, she still keeps it stocked at home out of habit. I suppose she still can't stop worrying about him."

I'm the one who buys everything for the house. Astrid rarely bothers with these small things.

That stomach medicine was the only thing she specifically asked me to buy.

I never thought much about it before. So that was the reason.

Realizing she'd said the wrong thing, Lena hurried to explain:

"Sir, please don't take it to heart, I was talking nonsense."

"It wasn't that I didn't want to explain the surgery for you just now — it's just that Ms. Henson always cares so much about Mr. Mason's feelings, and I didn't dare contradict him to his face..."

"Since Ms. Henson married you, she must like you too..."

I stared silently at the cluttered table.

The truth was, besides that bottle of folic acid supplements, there were two other medicine boxes.

The packaging clearly and prominently noted: 'Medication for patients with depression.'

And folic acid, besides helping with conception, also plays a supporting role in treating depression.

But Astrid looked right past them — or maybe she saw them and simply didn't care.

As I passed the children's room, I could hear Morgan talking with her inside.

"See, I told you. How could a stepfather really love Nora? He's barely been in this house any time at all, and he's already learned to set the child up."

"I heard him arguing with you. This is the young guy you like? When did your taste get so bad?"

Astrid's tone was a little cold:

"I wouldn't call it liking him. You were always dumping Nora on me back then, but I was too busy."

"Phineas is gentle, family-minded, knows his boundaries, and he's Nora's kindergarten teacher, so he knows how to care for a child. He was a very suitable choice. If I'd known things would blow up like this today, I'd have been better off staying single."

So it was only that I was suitable.

I twisted my mouth into a sarcastic smile and walked straight back to the bedroom.

Honestly, when I was diagnosed with mild depression, I was surprised too.

All I knew was that I hadn't been happy in a long time.

It always felt like a stone was lodged in my chest, making it hard to breathe.

But when the doctor asked me when it had started, I couldn't answer.

Was it when Astrid promised to make up our honeymoon, then left me alone at a foreign airport again to go on a last-minute family trip with Morgan?

Or when she heard I wanted a child, and the very next day came home with a box of long-term birth control pills and told me to wait a little longer?

It didn't matter anymore.

Since no one cared about my feelings, at least I had to learn to love myself.

I sent a message to my lawyer:

"Could you please draft a set of divorce papers for me? Thank you."

I set down the phone, and the bedroom door was pushed open gently.

Nora crept in carefully.

She looked at my stomach and whispered:

"I just secretly asked Lena, and she said they cut open your stomach and you bled a lot."

"But I only didn't want you to have your own little baby. Daddy said... I didn't know you'd fall down the stairs, really."

"Mr. Harding, can we still be secret-swapping best friends? I have another secret, and if you want to hear it, I can stay."