Chapter 1

On our eighth anniversary, I stood there gripping the test result that confirmed I was pregnant, and sent Ethan Mercer a message.

【Come pick me up at the hospital. We finally have a baby.】

A red exclamation mark.

This user has friend verification enabled. You are not yet their friend...

I stared at that line for a long time.

He always did this kind of thing after losing a game—deleting people, blocking them, changing the door lock code...

Every time, the person he had to do it to was me. And every time, he did it.

I stood in the wind for an hour before I finally got a car.

When it passed his office building, I saw him carrying a cup of hot iced coffee in his hand.

A girl came jogging over, and he handed her the coffee, then ruffled her hair as he did.

"The first pumpkin spice latte of fall. Open it and take a look."

The girl lifted the lid and suddenly shrieked.

A necklace was tucked under the cap, the tiny diamonds catching a flicker of light under the streetlamp.

The girl threw herself at him and kissed him on the mouth.

"I've had this necklace saved for ages! I love it so much!"

The impact made Ethan step back half a pace, but his arm looped steadily around her waist.

"Happy fall, kiddo."

I didn't watch any longer.

The light turned green, the traffic crept forward, and I finally decided:

give the future back to the future, and give myself back to myself.

...

I got home, changed my shoes slowly, and walked into the living room.

Ethan came through the door twenty minutes later.

"You're back? Why didn't you let me come get you."

He tossed his car keys onto the entryway cabinet and bent to change his shoes.

"Have you eaten?"

I didn't answer.

Ethan came in after me, wrapped his arms around me from behind, chin resting on my shoulder.

"Are you mad?"

"The friend thing, it was just a game. Don't take it to heart."

"She's a student who's barely been out in the world. She won the game, and it wouldn't be right to make things hard for her."

He smelled of Piper Shaw's perfume, a heavy floral scent, sweet to the point of cloying.

My stomach turned. I didn't move.

"Happy eighth anniversary," he said.

A cold chain settled around my neck.

He came around in front of me, fastened the clasp for me, and studied it.

"Pretty. It really suits you."

I raised my hand and touched the pendant with my fingertips.

"Do you like it?"

"Mm," I said flatly.

He smiled and ruffled the top of my head.

"I'll go make you some oatmeal. You look terrible, I can tell you didn't eat lunch."

I leaned back on the couch and heard the tap turn on in the kitchen.

Not long after, his phone lit up.

The screen was sitting right there on the coffee table, and Piper's messages popped up one after another.

I glanced over.

【Ethan, did Serena Locke put the necklace on? Is she not mad anymore?】

【I spent so long picking it out. This one's the free-with-purchase promo piece, the counter girl said the full price is over thirty thousand.】

I stared at the screen for a long time.

Ethan's voice came from the kitchen. "Serena, do you want a fried egg?"

I stood up slowly, took the necklace off my neck, and set it back on the coffee table.

"Ethan."

"I have something to tell you."

He poked his head out of the kitchen, still wearing the apron.

"What is it?"

The words had barely left him when his phone rang.

A custom ringtone. Piper's.

He picked up, and Piper's voice came through, thick with tears.

"Ethan! There's a cockroach in my room! A huge one! I'm scared!"

Ethan's expression changed in an instant. "Don't move, I'll be right there."

He grabbed his car keys and headed for the entryway.

"Piper's got a bit of an emergency. I'll run over. Whatever it is, we'll talk when I get back."

He'd said "when I get back" too many times. But every time he turned and rushed off to Piper, those words sank into the water and never surfaced again.

He left in such a hurry that his elbow knocked over the box in the entryway. He didn't even glance at it.

"I'm pregnant."

The door slammed shut.

I spoke softly to that dead-shut door.

"But I'm going to get rid of it."

I stayed silent for a long time, then turned and walked into the kitchen and shut off the burner.

Then I went back to the entryway. Inside the spilled box was a hand-embroidered tie, the eighth-anniversary gift I'd spent two months preparing.

I crouched down, picked them up one by one, and stuffed them all into the trash.

Ethan had forgotten his phone. The screen was still lit.

The lock screen was a photo of the two of them.

At some point, it had changed from our wedding photo to a picture of him and Piper.

Ethan and I had registered the marriage the moment we hit the legal age. In the wedding photo, he'd smiled wide and unrestrained, his whole face bright with drive and spirit.

Nothing like the gentle, steady man in that new photo, head bent toward Piper.

The reckless courage and heat back then had been real.

And now, with everything the same but the people changed, that was real too.