Chapter 2

I held the phone, my ears ringing with a deafening buzz.

The nurse spoke urgently.

"The cold ischemia time for a donor kidney is extremely limited. We couldn’t reach you, and Mr. Vance, as her legal guardian, formally cancelled the procedure."

"At four in the morning, the transplant network reassigned the kidney to another pediatric patient."

A freezing cold swept through my entire body.

"Who got it?"

The nurse fell silent for a moment.

"Another child. The transplant has already been completed."

That kidney saved another life. I couldn’t bring myself to blame that child.

But my Lily had been undergoing dialysis three times a week just to survive until this day.

The dialysis port on her little arm had swollen into a bruised, purple bump.

She couldn’t touch it during baths, and she had to sleep in one stiff position every night.

Last night, before blowing out her candles, she had whispered in my ear:

"Mommy, after I get my new kidney, can I finally go to preschool like the other kids?"

I had nodded, and she had jumped around me, squealing with pure joy.

The nurse’s panicked voice pulled me back.

"Mrs. Vance, Lily started running a high fever and vomiting early this morning. Her dialysis catheter is severely clogged, and she’s currently in the ICU being resuscitated."

The phone slipped from my palm, clattering to the floor. I rushed out of the bedroom, barefoot.

On the nightstand sat the half-empty glass of milk from last night.

At the bottom lay a layer of undissolved white powder.

My stomach churned violently.

I had trusted Julian. I thought he would never play with our daughter's life.

But he had drugged me so we would miss the kidney we had waited three years for.

The driver drove like a maniac.

I dialed Julian’s number over and over, but it went straight to voicemail.

Just as the car pulled into the hospital parking lot, a picture message popped up on my phone.

It was a shot of the Aspen mountains, bathed in the golden morning light.

Hailey was wearing a white puffer jacket, leaning her head on Julian’s shoulder.

[Hailey’s emotionally unstable right now. I’ll come back as soon as I show her the snow.]

[The surgery is just postponed. She’ll be fine.]

My fingers shook so hard I could barely hold the screen.

[The kidney is gone. They gave it to someone else.]

Minutes passed.

He didn't reply.

Outside the ICU, I grabbed a passing nurse’s arm.

"Where is Lily?"

The nurse’s eyes were red.

"The catheter infection triggered acute peritonitis. She just went into septic shock."

Through the glass window of the ICU door, I saw my little girl lying in the center of the sterile bed.

She was swallowed by tubes and wires.

The cardboard birthday crown she wore yesterday was now stuffed inside a plastic bag, crushed beneath her tiny backpack.

Lily was born with renal hypoplasia and had been on dialysis since she was two.

To wait for a matching kidney, she had endured hundreds of needle pokes and swallowed countless pills.

Every time the pain became too much, she would wrap her tiny arms around my neck and ask:

"Mommy, when I get my new kidney, will I be able to run around like the other kids?"

I always told her, *Yes, baby, very soon. Mommy and Daddy will wait with you.*

But the kidney had come. And her own father had personally sent it away.

The ICU door swung open, and the doctor pulled down his mask.

"We’ve stabilized her for now, but we must clear the infection and establish a new dialysis access immediately."

"Her heart function is already failing. If we delay any longer, she’ll go into full cardiac arrest."

I grabbed his sleeve.

"Can we find another donor?"

The doctor shook his head gently.

"A kidney with such a perfect match for Lily is a miracle. It took us three years to find one."

"When the next one will appear... no one can guarantee."

When the bed was rolled out, Lily slowly opened her eyes.

"Mommy."

I squeezed her cold, tiny hand.

"Mommy’s here, baby."

She strained her neck, trying to look behind me.

"Where’s Daddy?"

A lump formed in my throat, choking me.

Lily waited for a few seconds, the tiny spark of hope in her eyes slowly dimming to gray.

"Did Daddy go to see the snow with Auntie Hailey?"

I pressed her hand against my cheek, unable to utter a single word.