Chapter 4

I went home alone.

The moment I turned on my phone, countless private messages flooded in.

Shameless sasaeng, stay away from Denys!

Is photoshopping pictures and spreading lies fun for you?

I scrolled down and finally found where it all started.

Denys had replied to my comment himself.

Don't know her. Would this extreme fan please stop harassing my life.

Extreme fan.

Harassment.

Twelve years together, and in his mouth it came down to just those few words.

The tears came again.

The old Denys had been most afraid of me ever being wronged.

But now, the one who had personally shoved me into the middle of public opinion was also him.

I set my phone aside and lit the brazier.

The photos dropped in one by one.

The first time we held hands.

The first time we moved into a rented apartment.

......

The boy in the photos had eyes only for me.

And now, he was unwilling to admit I had ever existed.

The firelight flickered on my face, and the heat pressed my eyes until they stung.

Watching the last of the ashes, I suddenly felt much lighter.

So it turned out that letting go of someone didn't have to mean waiting for him to come back.

As long as I finally stopped making excuses for him, that was enough.

I went back to my room and started packing.

At two in the morning, Denys pushed the door open and came in.

His expression shifted slightly when he saw the suitcase.

"Celine, stop this."

I said softly,

"Didn't you say I was your extreme fan? If I'm a fan, then I should stay away from my idol."

His face darkened.

"I was only trying to protect Wallis."

"So you dumped all the dirty water on me?"

"Those people online have already started affecting her life."

"And what about my life? Did you ever think about whether I might be hurting too, whether I might be wounded?"

Irritation flashed in Denys's eyes.

"It's not what you think."

I finally couldn't hold it in and shouted, "Then what is it?!"

"I just wanted to try what life is like without you!"

That sentence stunned me.

"Every time I got close to you, I remembered the past!"

"I remembered us sleeping under the bridge! I remembered us fighting stray dogs over half a bread roll!"

"Those days were so filthy. It took everything I had to climb out of them."

"Do you understand? Every time I see you, I remember the man who had nothing!"

A chill spread through my whole body.

So the hardship I'd walked through beside him wasn't the memory he cherished most.

It was the shame he most wanted to wipe away.

I stood up, and my tears finally broke loose.

"So she stands for the new life!"

"And I stand for your past, is that it?!"

Denys didn't answer.

"Now that you have money, now that you're famous, you think the man who slept under the bridge back then is humiliating, and that I'm humiliating along with him, right?!"

"Denys, you stopped wanting me a long time ago!"

He pressed his lips together and didn't argue.

That silence was crueler than any answer.

Suddenly I remembered that winter.

After a stray dog bit him, he leaned on my shoulder and said weakly,

"Celine, don't give up on me."

"You're all I have."

I held him and promised I'd stay with him my whole life.

Later, he finally had the whole world.

And I became the part of his past he least wanted to look back on.

I wiped my tears away.

"My biggest regret is picking you out of the garbage heap."

Denys jerked his head up.

"Celine..."

"If I'd known you'd turn into this, I'd rather I hadn't seen you that day."

My phone suddenly rang.

Denys didn't move.

When it rang for the third time, he answered after all.

The person on the other end seemed to be crying hard.

He turned away at once.

"Don't cry, I'll be right there."

I didn't stop him.

When he reached the door, he suddenly turned back.

"Celine, I'll come back."

"From the day I met you, I decided I was destined to be tangled up with you for the rest of my life."

He said it earnestly, like he was making some kind of promise.

But I couldn't take it in anymore.

Once, I had wanted him to choose me without wavering.

Now that he'd finally promised to be tangled up with me forever, all I felt was exhaustion.

Watching his retreating figure, I said,

"Denys, I don't want you anymore."

I sat in the departure lounge, opened Weibo, and edited my long post again.

One by one, I uploaded all the photos of me and Denys from over the years.

After I posted it, I turned off my phone.

As the plane took off, the city lights shrank away outside the window.

I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes.

Denys said he would come back.

But this time, I wouldn't wait for him again.