Chapter 1

1: 1

At our tenth engagement party, Luke Gilbert's bipolar childhood friend took one look at the guests filing in, broke down sobbing on the spot, and smashed the whole spread of dishes and glasses across the floor.

I rushed to stop her, and a jagged shard sliced open my arm. The pain went straight through me.

But my fiancé lunged forward and shoved me away, staring at her reddened palm like it broke his heart, and roared at me:

"I told you her nerves are bad. Couldn't you just give in to her? Would it kill you to skip a little ceremony?"

He scooped her up and walked off without a backward glance, leaving only one line behind.

"The wedding is postponed indefinitely. And write me another ten thousand words admitting your fault. Think long and hard about what you did wrong."

Every guest froze where they stood, all of them turning pitying eyes on me. But I laughed.

Seven years together. Once, we went out shopping, and his childhood friend cried for three days and three nights.

After that, every single outing had to be cleared with her three days in advance.

If it wasn't, I'd be punished with another ten-thousand-word confession.

In seven years I'd filed those requests with her a thousand times over, and every time she turned me down.

This time, for the wedding, I'd asked half a year ahead and coaxed and pleaded for weeks.

Luke swore up and down that she'd agreed.

But now, looking at the wreckage scattered across the floor, all I felt was numb.

So it turned out that no matter how hard I tried, I would always be Luke's second choice.

Luke's assistant found me easily, a mocking look on his face.

"Miss James, Mr. Gilbert sent me to collect your apology letter."

I took the paper and pen he held out.

The next moment, in front of everyone, I tore them to shreds.

The assistant stood frozen, his face gone gray.

I placed the engagement ring in his palm and looked calmly at the crowd.

"I won't be writing her any more apology letters."

This wedding, I'm calling it off.

A love I have to beg for, I don't want it anymore.

...

I turned to the guests and raised the microphone.

"Please, eat and drink well. You'll have to excuse me now."

When I got into the car home, Luke's calls came in one after another.

I didn't answer a single one. I hung up on every one.

It wasn't until the taxi driver ahead quietly passed me a tissue

that I realized my face was already wet with tears.

For seven years, whenever Luke and I went out, Rosalie James always had to come along.

Once, at the movie theater, Luke kissed the side of my face.

The next moment, Rosalie burst into tears and dropped to her knees in front of everyone.

"Please stop clinging to Luke, please. I'm on my knees begging you."

My mind went blank, and on instinct I reached out to help her up.

But she suddenly went wild and viciously tore at my clothes.

"Why do you have to be the other woman, wedging yourself between us? Have you no shame?"

In that instant, the whole room turned to look at me.

Some people even started taking pictures of me.

I stumbled backward, my heart nearly bursting with pain.

But Luke pulled her into his arms and murmured, "Don't be scared. I'm right here."

He didn't so much as glance at me. He shielded her and left first.

It was a long time before he came back for me, choking up as he held me, crying, saying so many things.

"Her mother died saving me. I owe that debt. I have to repay it."

That was when I learned that in the last second before the crash, Rosalie's mother had pushed the young Luke out of the way.

And so he owed her for the rest of his life.

Luke's face twisted in pain. "If you can't stand it, we can break up."

My heart went soft then. I wanted to stay and help him get through it.

I thought a debt of gratitude had to end somewhere. But now I finally understand. It's Luke himself who never let go.

No one could ever pull him away.

My phone was still lighting up with messages from Luke. It was a red marriage certificate.

In the picture, Luke had his arm around Rosalie, pressing a soft kiss to her hair.

"You upset Rosalie badly today. I couldn't calm her down no matter what I tried."

"So I've taken her to get the license first."

"Later, once you come to your senses, I can give you a wedding to make up for it. Only there can't be any other guests, and Rosalie can't ever find out."

The corner of my mouth curled into a mocking smile. But he didn't know: I won't be waiting around for his next time.

I don't want him anymore.