Chapter 4

Nina's memorial was a small thing.

No flower stands from the company, no press, none of the fanfare. And none of the commemorative plaque Percival had brought back from the IPO.

He wanted to set the plaque beside her photo. He said it was the gift he'd promised to bring home for her.

I took it down.

"What Nina wanted was you."

"She has no use for that plaque."

Percival stood there holding it for a long time, and in the end he said nothing.

Beulah came too.

She stayed at the very back of the crowd, laid down a bunch of white flowers, and turned to go.

But my mother-in-law called after her, told her to come and stay by Percival's side.

Beulah's eyes went to me without thinking.

I was straightening Nina's photos and I didn't stop her.

That seemed to make Percival angrier.

When the service was over, he blocked me at the door.

"What is it you actually want?"

"A divorce."

"And besides the divorce?"

"Nothing else."

He stared at me, hard, like he was searching my face for some trace of a bluff.

Before, every time we fought, I was the one who backed down first.

He missed Nina's birthday, and I made his excuses about being buried in work.

He promised to take Nina to her follow-up, then dropped everything and flew out of town over one call from Beulah, and I took our daughter and stood in line for six hours alone, and still came home and set aside a plate for him.

He knew I'd be angry, and he knew I would never really leave.

That was why he dared to make me wait, over and over.

"Kirsten, you're just grieving too hard right now."

His voice softened.

"Once we've both calmed down, we'll talk about the papers. Nina's things are still at home. Where would you even go?"

"I have somewhere to go."

Percival frowned.

"When did you find a place?"

I didn't answer. I stepped around him and headed out.

He caught my wrist.

"You signed those divorce papers three months ago, and now you've already found an apartment. Kirsten, how much have you been hiding from me?"

"What I've hidden from you is nothing next to what you missed."

I pulled my hand free.

"Percival. Don't ever touch me again."

He froze where he stood.

Ten years of marriage, and it was the first time I had ever spoken to him like that.