Chapter 4

I clenched the induced-abortion form in my fist, then loosened my grip.

Right in front of him, I tore it to pieces and dropped them in the trash.

"It's nothing important."

Duane glanced at me and left.

The room tilted. Drained, I sank slowly into a crouch.

In that moment, even disappointment felt like too much.

Half through packing, I sat down on the edge of the bed, and finally the haze pulled me under.

When I woke again, it was long past the time I should have left for work. I came out to find Duane coaxing Josie through breakfast.

Seeing me, he got up and went to the kitchen for a bowl of porridge.

"You were sleeping so soundly, I didn't want to wake you."

Josie watched me, slowly set down her bowl and chopsticks, and prodded in a small voice.

"Daddy, I'm done eating. You and Mommy take me to get the wedding photos taken, okay?"

My heart pricked like a needle had gone in, but it didn't hurt the way it used to.

Duane went still.

Alma jumped up in a panic and rushed to explain.

"Serena, the bedtime story we read Josie last night had a picture of the parents' wedding photo, and she thought Duane and I— she's still not fully recovered, so we only pretended we'd go take them, just so she wouldn't get upset—"

Listening to her, Josie burst into tears.

"Why is it pretend? Aren't Daddy and Mommy in love? You both said last night you'd always stay by Josie's side—"

She cried her heart out.

Duane was quiet for a moment, then finally crouched down to soothe her.

His voice went very gentle. "Mommy was only joking. Of course we love each other. We love each other, and we love you even more."

"There, don't cry. You're going to be our little flower girl soon, and if your eyes get all red from crying, the pictures won't look nice."

I stood in the living room, once again the one who didn't belong.

Before he left, Duane finally turned to me.

"Serena, rest up at home. Wait for me to come back, and we'll have a proper talk."

As if some feeling caught him, he turned back again at the door.

"I know you feel wronged. After the wedding, we'll go to North Harbor for our honeymoon."

I said nothing. I gripped the handle and shut the door.

Outside, Alma's voice was low and dispirited.

"Duane, with everything you're doing for me and Josie, won't it ruin what you have with Serena? She looks like she hates me."

"Don't read into it. She's just throwing a little fit."

"But she was packing last night. What if she really means to leave you?"

Duane was silent for a moment, then said quietly,

"She won't."

Alma paused. "You're that sure?"

"Serena loves me, and she gives in to me. Seven years together. She can't bring herself to walk away."

All my giving in was what let Duane wound me without a shred of fear.

Seven years of love.

Turned into his proof that I would never leave.

In that moment, the last thin, foolish thread of reluctance in me shattered into powder.

I set the packed suitcase in the entryway.

I called a renovation crew to tear out the nursery.

Then I shut the door and left.

When I reached downstairs, Duane called.

His voice carried an edge of urgency. "Serena, Josie fainted."

"She's in the waiting room now. We're not sure yet if she'll need a transfusion. Come to the hospital right—"

I cut him off. "Duane, let's break up."

His voice stopped dead.

"What do you mean?"

Alma's voice came through the phone, thick with tears.

"Serena, it's all my fault and Josie's. Don't use a breakup to scare Duane—"

I looked at the wedding photos she'd posted to her feed half an hour ago.

It struck me as nothing but a bitter joke.

Duane was about to speak when a hurried voice broke in first.

"Dr. Stephens, you had me check the medical records to see whether Ms. Vaughn is eligible to donate blood."

"The report shows she had an induced abortion yesterday morning, and it triggered severe hemorrhaging afterward—"