Laughter as Proof, No Fortune Can Settle It

Chapter 1

5,264 words

At a college reunion, someone started egging the married guys on to share the fastest way to smooth things over with a wife.

My husband lifted his glass and smiled.

"Don't bother reasoning with her, just send money. If five hundred won't do it, send five thousand. She'll calm herself down."

Every man at the table laughed along.

But the female colleague sitting beside him added, offhand,

"Last time, after your wife's surgery, when you came out of town with me, didn't a hundred and thirty thousand smooth that over?"

The room went quiet.

That surgery, I'd only ever told my husband about.

He reached over and rested a hand on my shoulder, his thumb giving a light squeeze.

"She's had too much to drink, she's talking nonsense. It's a reunion tonight, let's not make things awkward for everyone."

Someone jumped in to save the moment.

"Don't take it to heart. Keith always makes us keep it quiet afterward, he's still looking out for you, deep down."

So it turned out my illness, my crying, and my silence every time I accepted a transfer had long since become a fixed joke at their dinner table.

My phone buzzed.

My husband had sent me five thousand two hundred, with a note.

【Just a joke, don't be a downer.】

I hit return.

By eleven that night, the clip from the reunion had shot to the top of the local trending list.

The title read:

【Doesn't matter if the husband cheats, five thousand two hundred shuts the wife up.】

01

My husband watched the view count climbing and pressed down the hand I was using to write a statement.

"Don't respond yet."

"Right now the traffic is at its best."

The restaurant account Keith Henson ran already had over two hundred thousand local followers.

Now and then he'd appear on camera, setting up a customer's proposal, cooking me noodles at midnight, handing me flowers in front of everyone on our anniversary.

The account bio read:

【The everyday life of a doting husband.】

Not two hours after that secretly filmed clip went out, the account gained thirty thousand followers.

I came out of the shower to find my phone already stuffed with messages from strangers.

【Five-grand wife, how much to shut you up tonight?】

【A hundred and thirty grand and you'll put up with your husband keeping another woman company. Your rate's pretty low.】

【She's not a victim, she's got a price tag on her.】

The video kept only the shots of Keith Henson raising his glass and talking about sending money, and me with my head down looking at my phone.

The line where Cora Pruitt mentioned the surgery had been cut down to just "a hundred and thirty thousand smoothed it over."

I was going to call the classmate who'd posted the video.

Before I could dial, Keith Henson took the phone from behind me.

"The public video's already deleted."

"The reposts are still up."

"There's no scrubbing it clean now. The more you explain, the more they'll think you've got something to hide."

He draped a towel over my head and slowly dried my wet hair for me.

"Isn't your follow-up appointment tomorrow? Don't stay up staring at this."

His touch was gentle, the pads of his fingers brushing my ear now and then.

As if I weren't the one who'd been laid out on a table tonight with a price stuck to me.

The phone screen lit up again.

The restaurant operations chat was discussing a new promotion.

【Everyone online is asking if there's a smooth-things-over-with-the-wife package.】

【Should we ride the wave and launch a five-thousand-two package? Call the copy "Send money, move on, no more silent treatment."】

【Put your wife's photo on it, it'll definitely blow up.】

I reached for the phone.

Keith Henson got to the voice button first.

"Don't use her photo, it'll set her off."

I'd just let out a breath when I heard him add,

"The joke's fine to use. Don't mention the surgery, change it to forgetting an anniversary."

I looked at him.

He set the phone face-down on the table, his tone easy.

"It's only marketing."

"You know I don't want to."

"That's why I didn't let them use your photo."

He actually thought he'd already given ground.

"Violet Harding, keep the business and what happens at home separate. The public will laugh for a couple of days and forget it, but the staff bonus this month is real."

"And what about me?"

He paused, then wrapped his arms around me from behind.

His chin rested on my shoulder, his breath falling against my ear.

"You're my wife. Who could really do anything to you?"

The phone rang again.

In one hour, the five-thousand-two package had sold fourteen hundred orders.

Operations asked him whether they should run a livestream through the night.

Keith Henson watched the numbers climbing and slowly loosened the arms holding me.

"Leave the video alone for now."

"The presale ends tomorrow. I'll handle it then, I promise."

When he'd said it, he sent me a hundred and thirty thousand.

The note:

【Don't look at the stuff online. I'll go with you to the follow-up tomorrow.】

"So this time's worth a hundred and thirty thousand too?"

He frowned.

"I just don't want your work to take a hit."

"It already has."

"Whatever you lose, I'll make it up."

He said it without hesitation.

As if, so long as the number was big enough, I had no right to hurt anymore.