Chapter 3

Week after week, they had their get-togethers. Every single week.

In half a year, Ervin changed his profile picture twenty-six times.

The first time, I cropped out the little heart in his picture and pretended it was half of a matching pair.

The second time, I cropped out the bow.

By the twenty-sixth time, his picture had become a selfie, and off to the right you could see a girl's long hair.

All at once it just felt pointless.

I switched my picture back to the cat I'd drawn myself.

Ervin saw it and even laughed. "How come you're not copying me anymore this time?"

I didn't explain, and he didn't press.

And so, without either of us noticing, we drifted further and further apart.

I heard my own voice come out hoarse, with a catch in it.

"Didn't I already say it? Then just go find her."

"Ervin, I'm not what you like. Stop forcing it."

The other end went quiet for a long time.

I took a deep breath and got ready to hang up.

"You're off crying by yourself again."

"Anna, tomorrow's your birthday. I booked the upscale restaurant."

His voice went gentle. "Does seven o'clock work?"

"I won't ask where you are. Just go clear your head."

"Tell me later, and I'll come pick you up."

He hung up first.

I buried my face in the pillow and let out a low sob.

Ervin was always like this.

He kept people in his heart. It was just that there was never only one of them there.

3

I couldn't decide whether or not to meet Ervin.

My best friend called to wish me a happy birthday.

The second I spoke, she could hear something was wrong.

"Annie, did That Dog Ervin give you attitude again?!"

I was about to answer when I noticed Ervin's profile picture had changed again.

Without knowing why, I clicked into his feed.

"Impossibly hard-to-book upscale restaurant! Gorgeous photos!"

I stared at that photo for a long time.

In it, Marilyn held up a knife and fork and flashed an exaggerated victory sign at the camera.

Behind her was the side of Ervin's face, head down as he cut into his steak, a bunch of red roses set beside his hand.

Those roses were supposed to be mine.

I pulled up my chat with Ervin from the night before.

"Tomorrow's your birthday. I booked the upscale restaurant."

"Does seven o'clock work?"

So it turned out the restaurant he mentioned was where he'd gone to do a tasting with Marilyn.

I took a screenshot and saved it to my folder.

"It's fine, Vera Whitfield. There's a trendy place. Come spend my birthday with me."

That restaurant was right across from the upscale one.

Vera noticed the place too, and her temper flared at once. "Where'd this cheating pair come from!"

I just quietly ordered.

Vera added from beside me, "Get a juice, don't you not like coffee? Oh, you have to order this sautéed veggie dish, it's incredibly fresh, definitely your kind of thing."

I listened and forced out a small smile. "You remembered."

I'd only known Vera for the year since I moved to this city, and she understood me far better than Ervin did after three years together.

Every time I went to one of those get-togethers with his group of buddies, the whole table was a blaze of red spicy dishes.

Marilyn always ate with her mouth glistening with grease.

Ervin would laugh and say she had no manners, then dote on her and hand her a napkin.

Every time it left me uncomfortable, Marilyn would go and grin at me. "I've always been the wild type. Everyone says I'm too much of a guy."

"No wonder Dog Ervin likes you. Honestly, I envy that little bird appetite of yours."

The truth was I didn't have a bird appetite. I just had a bad stomach.

A whole table of spicy food and beer, and all I could do was look.

Before we ordered, I'd once tried asking for a steamed fish.

But the moment I opened my mouth, Marilyn cut me off with a laugh.

She had her arm slung around Ervin's shoulders, the two of them turned away from me, laughing about something.

And then I thought, never mind. Just leave it.

The phone screen already read ten past seven.

Ervin's message popped up. "Why aren't you here yet?"