Chapter 1

On our fifth wedding anniversary, I was packing my husband's bags when I found a prenatal exam report.

The name in the family-signature box was Frederick Gilbert, and the pregnant woman was my best friend, the one who'd always said she couldn't have children.

I stood there holding the paper, hands and feet gone cold.

Frederick Gilbert was my husband. Geraldine Fox was my closest friend.

My head went blank, and I rushed off in a panic to find my mother.

She was in the kitchen simmering chicken soup, and she spoke without even lifting her head.

"Josie, honey, the baby's position in Gerry's belly was never stable to begin with. Just settle down, don't go making a fuss, all right?"

"Frederick only had us all keep it from you because he wanted to give the Gilberts an heir."

Beside her, my own brother was washing vegetables, and he cut in with a grin.

"Sis, Gerry already agreed. Once the baby's born, it goes straight to you to raise."

"You two have been close for so many years. Just cut her some slack."

I looked at those two familiar faces and felt the nausea rise in my stomach.

So my own mother and my own brother had both been helping an outsider scheme against my marriage.

In this lie everyone had so carefully woven together,

I was the only fool.

...

My mother turned off the burner, turned to face me, and there was actually a flicker of impatience on her face.

"Josie, put the report away first. Don't let Frederick see it when he gets back. He's been worn out enough lately over Gerry's situation."

Worn out enough.

I almost laughed.

He got my best friend pregnant, and he's the tired one.

I found out my husband and my best friend had been lying to me, and somehow I was the one being unreasonable.

"Mom, exactly how long have you and Howard Swanson been helping him keep this from me?"

She avoided my eyes and ladled out soup.

"Not that long. When Gerry first got pregnant things weren't good, and Frederick was afraid the shock would be too much for you, so he sent her abroad to carry the baby without telling you. It's only now, with the birth so close, that he brought her back."

Sent her abroad to carry the baby?

Those words left my mind reeling.

The whole past half year came flooding back.

No wonder Frederick had been finding an excuse to fly overseas on business every few days.

No wonder Geraldine's posts back then were always some peaceful, pretty foreign scenery.

And I'd actually felt sorry for how hard he was working, and stupidly bought a pile of health supplements to ship over to Geraldine, wishing her a speedy recovery.

Thinking about it now, it was almost funny.

The man who shared my bed and my best friend, living the good life abroad.

My mother and my brother taking the favors Frederick handed out, joining forces to make a fool of me.

"Afraid I'd take it hard, so all of you helped him hide it from me?"

Howard held out the apple in his hand, that same infuriating little smile still on his face.

"Sis, don't put it so ugly. Look how good Frederick's been to you. When have you ever gone without a house, a car, anything? Gerry's health being what it is, she finally managed to conceive. Everybody just wanted to protect the baby first."

I slapped the apple out of his hand, and his face changed.

"What are you losing your mind at me for? I'm not the one who got Gerry pregnant."

My mother frowned.

"Josephine Swanson, who is this act for? A woman making a life, you can't go picking a fight over every little thing. A man like Frederick, do you know how many women out there have their eyes on him? You get to sit securely as Mrs. Gilbert, and you still want more?"

I stared at her.

She was my mother.

The year I lost my baby, she held me and cried, said the first person she'd never forgive was anyone who ever let me suffer.

Now she was simmering soup for the very man who was making me suffer.

My phone rang then. Frederick.

I didn't answer.

Howard glanced at the screen and instantly got frantic.

"Sis, don't make trouble. If Frederick's calling it must be something important. Gerry has a checkup today. If she's affected because you're in a bad mood, can you take responsibility for that?"

I turned my head toward him, slowly.

"She's carrying my husband's child, and you want me to take responsibility for her?"

Howard stalled, his ears going a little red, but he stiffened his neck fast enough.

"The baby goes to you to raise later, doesn't it? Haven't you always wanted a child? Isn't that the best of both worlds?"

I raised my hand and slapped him.

The kitchen went dead quiet.

Howard clutched his face, eyes wide.

My mother shrieked and rushed over to shove me.

"Are you insane? Howard means well for you too."

Her push sent me into the corner of the dining table, and a sharp pain shot through my lower belly.

I pressed a hand to it and needed a few seconds before I could straighten up.

Frederick's call came again.

This time I answered.

It was quiet on his end, his voice as steady as always.

"Josephine, where are you?"

"At my mom's."

"You saw the exam report?"

He didn't panic. He didn't explain.

I heard my own nail scrape across the paper, a faint sound.

"Frederick, do you think I'm that easy to fool?"

The line went silent for two seconds.

"I'm coming over now. Don't fight with Mom first. Geraldine's fetal heartbeat isn't very steady today, the doctor advised her to stay calm."

I closed my eyes for a moment.

"So you called because you're afraid I'll go upset her?"

"Josephine, she's far along. Any accident could mean real trouble."

"And what about me?"

He was silent.

That silence was dirtier than the exam report.

Half an hour later, Frederick arrived.

He wore a dark gray coat, cuffs clean, expression composed, and in his hand was the chestnut cake I always liked.

He looked at me first as he came in, then at my mother.

"Mom, thank you for all this."

My mother hurried to take the things from his hands.

"You're the one who's had it hard. How are things with Gerry?"

Standing off to the side, I suddenly felt completely unnecessary.

Frederick walked up to me and set the cake on the table.

"Your stomach's bad. Eat something first."

I smacked the exam report against his chest.

"Is the baby yours?"

He caught the paper, not the slightest flinch in his eyes.

"Yes."

I looked at Frederick's handsome face, that face without a single crack in it.

"When did it start?"

He lowered his eyes, and a long moment passed.

"After your first miscarriage."

There was only that pain twisting through my chest, wave after wave.

Frederick reached out to steady me. I stepped away from him.

"Josephine, come home with me first. We'll talk."

"Now you want to talk?"

"I'll handle this. On Geraldine's side, once the baby is born it can be registered under your name, and the Gilbert elders will recognize you as the mother. You won't lose anything."

I stared at him, and then I laughed.

"Frederick, do you really not know what I've lost?"

Something in his brow finally moved.

Howard muttered under his breath beside us.

"Frederick's already giving you plenty of face."

Frederick's eyes cut toward him, and Howard shut his mouth at once.

He was always like this.

One look and he could hold down a whole room of outsiders. Dignified, composed, cleaning up every mess.

And the worst mess of all, he'd handed to me with his own hands.

I went home with him.

On the drive back, he thoughtfully opened the car door for me, fastened my seatbelt.

I looked at the sapphire cufflinks at his wrist.

The anniversary gift I'd given him last year.

At the time I'd said, so stupidly, that wearing them out meant he had to remember me.

Thinking about it now, I wanted to slap the girl I'd been.