Chapter 1

1: 1

"The people doing my background check for the civil-service job left just yesterday. I told them you were selfish and had a bad character, so you probably didn't pass this time either."

"You weren't going to pass anyway. All you need to do is take good care of the kids."

"Your sister's a good daughter. She and your brother signed me up for a summer family tour package."

I was shaking with rage. "Mom! I've failed the exam three years in a row—do you not know why?"

The first year, during the online video interview, my oldest nephew knocked over my water glass and fried my computer, and the interview was cut off.

The second year, she said there was an emergency at home and dumped all eight kids on me, and with all the chaos I didn't get a minute to study. I didn't even pass the written test.

This time, I was one step from the finish line, and to make me look after those eight kids, my mother went and smeared me right in front of the background-check officers.

Seeing me drag my feet, she turned on me on the spot. "Watching kids at home is easy. Your sister and brother have done it for years. You're the only one who has to make a fuss about it!"

"Your sister says you should learn from that free live-in nanny on TV. Stop being so selfish."

"And I wasn't wrong anyway. You split your brother's head open over a piece of candy! You deserve to fail!"

Watching my mother spit venom, her face twisted and vicious, something in me just went flat.

"Fine. I won't take the exam anymore."

My mother lit up, sure I'd caved again.

But I turned and called the executive overseas. "Yes, I'm done with the civil-service track. I'm willing to move abroad."

My mother wasn't wrong. I really am selfish.

You can take care of the eight kids yourself.

1:

My mother was on the phone in the family group chat, gleeful.

"Your second sister was always a useless thing. About all she's good for is watching kids."

"Three years chasing that exam and she got nothing. She's been living here free, eating and drinking all this time, and I've been like her hired maid. It's high time I got to go out and relax and travel a bit."

She rattled on and on, completely forgetting how three years ago she'd been gravely ill in the hospital.

My sister said she couldn't come up with the money, that her business had lost everything.

My brother said he'd just gotten married and was already over a hundred grand in debt.

My mother lay in that bed crying, waiting to die.

And I was the one who paid her medical bills, using the scholarship money I'd earned working through college and the savings from my part-time jobs.

You'd think if they had no money, they could at least show up and help.

But my sister and brother both said they had kids to look after, and they barely came to the hospital at all.

When they did, they brought a few pounds of the cheapest apples and pears, calling it thoughtful because those were the fruits Mom liked.

But Mom was in the hospital after surgery, too weak to even feed herself, living on plain oatmeal and IV nutrition.

I still remember how she kept crying as she looked at me back then, saying over and over how sorry she was.

【It's my fault, I'm the one who's sorry. I treated you badly from the time you were little. I only ever bought dresses for your sister, and all you got were her hand-me-downs.】

【Your brother had more candy than he could eat. The one time you finally came in first and your teacher gave you candy as a reward, I made you give it to your brother. I was wrong.】

【Your sister couldn't even get into a community college, but I forced you to drop out so you could earn the money for her to retake her exams. I was truly monstrous.】

【Even your brother's wedding dowry, I forced you to hand it over. How could I be such a monster.】

Maybe I was starving for a mother's love. Or maybe, in that moment, her remorse felt too real.

I set aside all that old unfairness for the time being. I held her and told her to stop, to just focus on getting well.

Later, once she recovered, I quit my job and stayed home to study for the exam so I could take care of her.

I only took on the occasional design job on my computer for extra cash.

The sister and brother who never showed their faces during her hospital stay came by, sheepish, with a few thousand dollars.

They said they'd been too broke lately to come up with anything.

Before I could say a word, my mother threw them out, screaming that they were worse than animals.

I thought that this time she'd finally seen how cold my sister and brother really were.

But all it took was the two of them kneeling and kowtowing and crying in front of her, and she went soft, weeping her heart out.

"What mother holds a grudge against her own children? I was just hurt that you didn't come to see me."