Chapter 2

Two hundred dollars a month wasn't enough to survive on at college.

I stared at the two hundred dollars in my hand, hesitating for a long time.

In the end, I dialed my mother's number anyway.

The line rang several times before her tired voice came through.

"Theresa, did your advisor give you the money I sent you?"

I nodded, my voice a little tight.

"She gave it to me."

My mother let out a quiet "Mm."

"Then make it last."

"Just because you're in college doesn't mean you can spend recklessly. Understand?"

I had to make two hundred dollars last an entire month.

And she was actually telling me not to be wasteful?

I'd just opened my mouth to tell her the money wasn't nearly enough.

But she cut me off, sounding rushed.

"All right, I have a meeting to get to."

"I'll be very busy for a while. If you need anything, go to your advisor."

And with that, my mother hung up.

The call had barely ended when the class president came looking for me.

"Theresa, all the freshmen are required to attend the freshman training. The uniform fee is one hundred eighty dollars. You're the only one in the class who hasn't paid yet."

Without thinking, I tightened my grip on the two hundred dollars.

A whole month's living expenses, gone before I'd even had a chance to use them.

It was a mandatory expense.

I handed the two hundred dollars to the class president.

She gave me twenty back.

And added, as an afterthought.

"There's also fifty dollars in class dues. Remember to pay it sometime this week."

With that, she turned and walked off.

Clutching the twenty dollars in my hand, I suddenly remembered my mother telling me over the phone not to waste money.

In that moment, I badly wanted to ask her. Did I even have anything to waste?

After class, I skipped dinner and went straight back to the dorm.

My roommates called out for me to come to a group dinner—a start-of-semester party, with everyone pitching in fifty dollars each.

I shook my head and said I wasn't feeling well.

They glanced at me, said nothing, and left.

The whole dorm fell silent, leaving me alone.

That night, I lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.

Early the next morning, I went looking for a part-time job.

The freshman training was only a few days away. I had to use the time I had left to earn the class dues and my living expenses.

I combed through the area around campus and found a bubble tea shop on the back street that needed a part-timer—ten dollars an hour.

That day, I stood in the bubble tea shop and spent eight straight hours squeezing lemons by hand.

My legs swelled up, and my hands hurt so badly I could barely lift them.

At the end of my shift, the owner handed me eighty dollars.

Pinching those few crumpled bills, for the first time I understood just how heavy a few dozen dollars could be.

Back at school, I found the class president and paid the fifty dollars in dues.

Then I bought the cheapest pack of plain noodles I could find.

Five dollars, enough to get me through several days.

The other three roommates saw me cooking noodles in the dorm, and one by one they gave me those awkward, knowing looks.

After that, no one in the dorm ever invited me out to eat or shop again.

I became invisible, leaving early and coming back late every day, juggling classes with whatever part-time work I could find.

No matter how carefully I stretched every dollar or how many part-time shifts I picked up, I still couldn't make ends meet.

Because every month I still had to pay the dorm's utilities, textbook fees, and phone bill, and sometimes a club would suddenly ask for another activity fee.

The pressure never let up.

Every day I tried to keep my food budget to around five dollars.

No breakfast.

At noon, a bowl of plain white rice and a serving of vegetables.

And for dinner, I'd have plain noodles boiled in water.

I used no facial cleanser or skincare products. I used only a tiny bit of body wash and shampoo each time. When they ran out, I'd add water and squeeze out every last drop.

My toothpaste, I squeezed until the tube was flattened into a thin strip, then cut it open with scissors and scraped out every last bit.