Chapter 4

Why did other girls get to live carefree lives, never having to worry about food or clothes, while I had to scrape and struggle just to get by on a few dollars a month?

Why, when I'd already done everything I could to work my way through college, did I still end up branded as wasteful and ungrateful?

Just how far did I have to go before she'd be satisfied?

Half an hour later, the dorm door was flung open.

It was my academic advisor.

She came in frowning, and immediately started in on me.

"Theresa, what is wrong with you?"

"Didn't I tell you your mother's been swamped with work lately? Don't bother her unless it's an emergency."

"So why did you go and call her, of all things, asking for money?"

"Do you have any idea how furious she was when she called me? You really set her off."

I drew a deep breath and said weakly, "Ms. Fox, I'm sick. I only called her because I truly had no money left to see a doctor..."

The advisor stepped closer, patted my head, and softened her tone a little. "Theresa, honey, I know things aren't easy for you. But your mother is only doing it for your own good."

"Kids these days are all so soft. They can't handle any hardship. Your mother wants to toughen you up, so you can handle things on your own when you're out in the real world."

"Try to understand her, all right?"

My nose burned, and tears streamed down my cheeks.

I understood her.

But who was going to understand me?

Living on two hundred dollars a month had worn me down to the point where I almost couldn't take it anymore.

Seeing that I said nothing, the advisor pulled two hundred dollars from her pocket and held it out. "Take this two hundred dollars. Consider it a personal loan and go see a doctor."

"But you have to remember. You must never breathe a word of this to your mother."

"She's determined to toughen you up. If she found out you not only spent all your money but took a handout from me on the side, she'd feel all that hardship you've been through was for nothing. She wouldn't just scold you. I'd get dragged into it too."

I looked at the two hundred dollars in the advisor's hand, and my emotions were a tangled mess.

My hands shaking, I took the money and said softly, "Thank you, Ms. Fox. I'll pay you back as soon as I can."

"Don't be so formal with me."

The advisor gave my hand a gentle pat and spoke with quiet seriousness.

"From now on, if anything comes up, just come to me. Stop bothering your mother. She's been very busy lately, and her mood isn't good. The more you contact her, the more agitated she gets."

I nodded weakly. "I understand."

The advisor looked me over, satisfied, reminded me that I needed to learn to overcome my own difficulties, then turned and left the dorm.

Clutching those two hundred dollars, I dragged my weak, sick body to the campus clinic.

The doctor finished examining me and spoke gravely.

"Your fever is 103.6, your tonsils are severely infected, and you've developed pneumonia. How did you let yourself get this sick before coming in?"

I gripped the two hundred dollars in my hand and lowered my head without a word.

He prescribed three days of IV treatment and a pile of medicine. The total came to over five hundred and eighty.

I told him the only money I had on me was two hundred dollars.

He sighed. "Then I'll start you on one day of IV treatment and some emergency medication. Try to scrape together more money and finish out the rest of the course. Whatever you do, don't drag it out."

"If you keep putting it off, that lung infection could become serious."

I nodded, thanked him, and started the drip.

After two bags of IV fluids, the pounding in my head eased a little.

By the time I came out of the clinic, the sky had already gone dark.

Passing the dining hall, the smell of the food inside made my stomach growl.

Only then did it hit me. I hadn't eaten anything in three whole days.