Chapter 2

"This is fraud! This is extortion! I'm calling the cops on you!"

Brenda shrieked, spit flying from her mouth.

She looked ready to throw me in jail himself.

I quickly took two steps back to avoid her flying saliva.

Then, blinking innocently, I pulled my professional credentials out of my pocket.

"I've been a professional director and writer for eighteen years. I've worked on multiple hit TV shows. My rates are industry-standard and completely transparent."

"Or are you saying, Grandma, that you watched my show but don't want to pay? That's not very nice. It's only $4,500. Why make life hard for a poor creative? Just pay up!"

The moment I called her "Grandma," her face turned bright red with rage.

"Who are you calling Grandma?! You little bitch! How dare you disrespect me! You better pay my medical bills and emotional distress fees right now, or I will make your life a living hell!"

"Oh, Grandma, I know I'm pretty, but you don't need to keep complimenting me. I'm already very satisfied with my looks!"

"You shameless whore! Do you have any idea who my husband is?! How dare you speak to me like that! Now, even if you give me $1,500, it won't be enough. The price just went up. I want $10,000!"

This crazy woman was truly something else. Ten thousand dollars? Did she think her brain was made of solid gold?

Before I could even retort, Brenda suddenly gasped, clutched her stomach, and slid down to sit on the floor.

She started wailing at the top of her lungs, holding up her phone to record my face. She immediately began uploading videos to the building's Snapchat group, screaming that I was abusing a pregnant woman.

Without hesitating, I copied her. I dropped my butt right onto the floor and started crying even louder than she was.

Brenda froze, looking at me in utter disbelief. "What the hell are you doing? Are you insane?!"

I wailed at the top of my lungs, my voice dripping with exaggerated agony. "It's my first day in my new home, and my neighbor is maliciously framing and extorting me!"

"I am not! Get up! Stop lying!"

"Sob... my life is so hard! On my very first day, my delusional neighbor claims my innocent cardboard box came to life, and now she's extorting me for $10,000 over a scratch that's already healed! I'm so miserable!"

"You're lying! You left stuff in the hallway and hurt me!"

I stopped crying in a split second and looked at her coldly.

I pulled out my phone and opened the camera app.

Thank God I was a paranoid person. The very first thing I did when I moved in was install a smart peephole camera on my door.

Brenda's eyes darted around nervously. She began to stutter.

"H-how do I know that video isn't Photoshopped?!"

"Doesn't matter. I already called the cops anyway. Let's just wait for them to get here!"

"Ugh, why bother the police over something so minor? I... I probably got it wrong. Maybe it wasn't your box. Maybe it was Unit 1702's. Yeah, 1702. Forget it, whatever."

With a loud SLAM, Brenda's door shut in my face.

I looked down at the fake 911 call screen on my phone, dusted off my pants, and hummed a little tune as I went back inside.

To deal with a shameless parasite, you have to be even more shameless than they are!