Chapter 4

His pupils contracted.

That tiny physical reaction was louder than any confession.

Then, he said the words that completely shattered the last piece of my heart.

"Chloe, hypotheticals like that are pointless."

"Why are they pointless?"

"Because she’s not coming back."

It wasn't "I choose you." It wasn't "I wouldn't want her." It wasn't "I'm married to you."

It was "She's not coming back."

Which meant, if she did come back, if she wanted him, his answer would be different.

I laughed.

I laughed so hard that tears started rolling down my face.

"Ethan, you won't even lie to me."

"Chloe—"

"You can't even bring yourself to say 'I choose you'."

"This has nothing to do with choosing anyone. It’s just a reality—"

"The reality is, she's the one in your heart, but I'm the one you married.

The reality is, you spend my money to take care of her, while telling thousands of people she's your forever muse.

The reality is, I've been by your side for three years, and I don't even deserve a decent contact name on your phone.

She is 'My Moon,' and I am 'Chloe.'

Ethan, you couldn't even be bothered to add a single emoji to my name."

"It's just a contact name! Why do you always have to obsess over these tiny details?"

"Tiny details?" I wiped my tears. "Then what's a big deal? Sleeping with her? Throwing me out on the street? Or does it only become a big deal when you finally drive me to jump off a bridge?"

"Chloe, stop being dramatic!"

"Dramatic?" I stared at him.

"Ethan, let me ask you. When was the last time you asked me 'How was your day?'"

He froze.

"You don't remember, do you? Let me help you. It was March of last year. A year and a half ago. I had a 103-degree fever.”

“You asked how my day was, I told you I was sick, and you said 'Go to bed early then,' before continuing your stream until two in the morning."

"The next day, my fever hit 104. I drove myself to the ER to get an IV. You didn't even send a single text."

"Do you know what I was thinking while lying in that hospital bed?

I thought, if I died right there, you wouldn't even notice until the cat ran out of food."

His lips parted, but no sound came out.

"And when was the last time we had dinner together?"

Silence.

"Chloe—"

"Don't worry about answering. I'll tell you. It was three months ago.

Your mom was visiting, so you had no choice but to sit at the table. The minute she left, you went straight back to your computer."

"I told you, during streams, I have to monitor the chat—"

"You don't need to monitor the chat at two in the morning when you're off-air, do you? What were you doing then?

You were texting Serena, browsing her Instagram, and staring at her new pictures."

"Chloe, can you just—"

"Just what? Stop talking? You hate hearing it?" I took a step closer.

"Ethan, do you have any idea how I lived these past three years?"

"You slept in until eleven every morning while I got up at six. I made you breakfast, and you never once said thank you.

You pushed your empty plate away, I washed it, and then I went to work. Meanwhile, you played video games until your afternoon stream."

"I came home from work, bought groceries, and cooked. You ate while talking to your viewers, and I sat next to you tracking your stream data and replying to messages.

You streamed until 2 AM, and I stayed up with you until 2 AM.

When you went to sleep, I stayed up to do the laundry, mop the floor, feed the cat, and clean up the takeout boxes you threw all over the place."

"I was busy until nearly three every morning, only to get up at six again."

"Three years. One thousand and ninety-five days. I have not slept more than five hours a single night."

"And you, Ethan? You didn't even know what time I went to bed. One night you finished streaming at 3 AM and saw me folding clothes in the living room.”

“You asked, 'Why are you still up?' I said I was waiting for you. You said, 'Why wait? Just go to sleep.'"

"I was waiting for you. Waiting for you to finish, waiting for you to eat, waiting for you to have time, waiting for you to look at me."

"I waited for three years. You never once looked back."