Chapter 2

On the fourth day after my rebirth, my tally began in earnest.

I hid the notepad inside my pillowcase. Every time Mom visited, I scribbled beneath the sheets.

That afternoon, Mom brought Chloe to see me.

Chloe had a small bandage wrapped around her head, but her face was completely untouched. Mom held her securely in her arms while Chloe stared at me with wide, timid eyes.

"Maya, does it hurt?" she asked in a tiny voice.

I wanted to say no, but my throat was too raw to make a sound, so I just shook my head.

Tears welled up in Chloe's eyes. "Mom, Maya looks so miserable. Can we stay and keep her company?"

Mom pulled Chloe tighter against her chest, her tone turning sickeningly gentle.

"Be good, Chloe. Maya needs her rest. Let's not disturb her."

Mom turned to scowl at me. "Maya, your sister is worried about you. The least you could do is show some reaction."

"Chloe's injuries are so much lighter, yet she cries every day. Look at you, just sitting there like a wooden doll."

If I cried, she would say I was weak.

If I stayed quiet, she called me a wooden doll.

What did she actually want from me?

[Mom called me a wooden doll: minus 2 points.]

I lifted my chin and forced the corners of my mouth upward.

I was trying to smile, but my burned, blistered face couldn't form expressions anymore. The grimace must have looked horrific, but I was genuinely trying.

Mom clicked her tongue in disgust.

"Never mind. Don't do that. You look creepy."

[Mom was disgusted by my smile: minus 3 points.]

Current score: 76 points.

That afternoon, the nurse came in to change my dressings.

Changing burn dressings is pure agony.

The gauze fuses to the raw flesh, and peeling it away feels like skinning someone alive.

I bit down hard on my lip, my entire body shaking, tears streaming silently down my cheeks.

The nurse whispered soothingly, "Hang in there, sweetheart. Almost done."

I nodded, fighting with everything I had to keep from screaming.

Right then, Mom pushed the door open.

She took one look at the bloody gauze peeling off my body, and her eyebrows immediately knitted together.

I thought she might at least tell me to stay strong.

Instead, she snapped, "Stop crying. You're so loud the whole floor can hear you."

The nurse paused, visibly taken aback. "Ma'am, changing burn dressings is excruciatingly painful for a child..."

Mom cut her off. "Chloe didn't make a single peep when they changed her bandages. Maya is just being dramatic."

[Mom called me dramatic: minus 5 points.]

[Mom compared me to Chloe again: minus 2 points.]

Current score: 69 points.

I didn't make a sound, but the tears wouldn't stop flowing.

*Mom, I'm not being dramatic.*

*It really, truly hurts.*

But the words couldn't escape my throat, and even if they did, she wouldn't have cared to listen.

Night fell, and the ward quieted down.

Under the faint glow from the hallway light, I slipped the notebook out.

Four days. Thirty-one points gone.

The deductions were piling up faster than I anticipated.

As I drifted off to sleep, the door clicked open softly.

Light footsteps approached my bed and stopped. Mom stood there for a long time.

Then came her voice, quiet and cold.

"Maya, if only you were as sweet as Chloe."

I opened my eyes and watched her shadow vanish into the corridor.

In the dark, I whispered to myself: *Mom, I was sweet and obedient for fourteen years. Did you ever once see it?*

*No. You never did.*

I pulled out the notebook and added another line:

[Mom said, "If only you were as sweet as Chloe": minus 5 points.]

Current score: 64 points.

One step closer to zero.