Chapter 4
They locked me up.
They took my phone.
Everything sharp in the room was carried out.
I could hear Marvin and my mother on the phone, one call after another.
They said I'd gone crazy.
They begged relatives and friends to help them find another healer to look at me.
On the third day, Marvin set the phone down in front of me.
The family group chat already had hundreds of messages.
The latest one was my mother saying I'd changed completely after the miscarriage.
That I threw things and hit people, and kept imagining the whole family was out to hurt me.
Marvin's mother followed with a voice note.
“Our Marvin has such a hard life. He works all day, and at night he has to guard against her going mad.”
The relatives' replies popped up one by one.
“Kayla, Marvin's been good enough to you. Don't be ungrateful.”
“Two mothers take turns waiting on you. What more do you want?”
“Just listen and get your health back. Stop being a burden on everyone.”
With shaking hands, I typed out a line.
“They forced me to get pregnant, and they found someone to pour ash-water down my throat.”
The message went through, and the group went quiet for a few seconds.
My aunt was the first to reply.
“There she goes, talking nonsense again.”
My mother sent a crying emoji.
“What did I ever do to deserve this, being slandered like this by my own daughter.”
I took a photo of my arm, welted red where the healer had struck me, and sent it to the group.
My uncle only told me to put down anything dangerous.
I told them everything I'd been through in this time.
My aunt just thought I was being dramatic.
“Everyone goes through this. Why do you have to be so special?”
“What woman doesn't have children? Marvin's already been good enough to you.”
No one asked how I got those injuries.
No one asked how I was doing.
Everyone was certain I'd gone crazy.
Marvin took the phone back.
“See? It's not just us who think there's something wrong with you.”
I stopped explaining.
My mother brought medicine, and I drank it.
Marvin's mother told me to take my temperature, and I took it.
Marvin came into the bedroom, and I stopped fighting.
They thought the exorcism had finally worked, and the smiles on their faces grew wider by the day.
A month later, two red lines appeared on the pregnancy test.
Marvin's mother cradled it and cried with excitement.
My mother held me too.
“Thank goodness, Kayla. You've finally come to your senses.”
The bedroom door, locked for a month, finally opened.
Marvin led me by the hand to the hospital for a checkup.
The whole way there, he gripped my hand tight.
I couldn't tell whether he did it out of love, or out of fear that I'd run.
In the exam room, the doctor looked at my chart, her brow drawing tighter and tighter.
“Two miscarriages back to back, and her body hasn't recovered. How is she pregnant again this quickly?”
Marvin's mother rushed to explain.
“She's still young, and we've given her plenty of tonics.”
“Doctor, just tell us how to keep the baby. That's all we need.”
The doctor looked up at me.
“Do you want this child?”
It was the first time in so long that anyone had asked me whether I wanted it.
I opened my mouth.
Marvin gave the answer for me first.
“Of course she does. She's just been a little unstable lately.”
“She'll be fine after some more rest.”
The doctor was about to press further, but Marvin's mother hurried us upstairs to get the report.
In the elevator, my mother and Marvin's mother were already discussing who would care for me during the confinement month this time.
Marvin bent over his phone, sharing the good news with the relatives.
I said nothing. I walked alone toward the end of the corridor.
The wind blew in through the window, straight into my face.
I suddenly thought of the flowers they'd thrown away.
Of the crumpled family photo in that drawing.
And of the countless times I'd screamed for help through that door.
I knew that even if this child was born,
my suffering wouldn't end with it.
I was so tired.
One foot stepped out onto the sill.
Behind me came Marvin's panicked voice.
This time, I didn't look back.