Chapter 4

"You never used to be like this!"

Fay stared at me, blank-faced, and the tears spilled over, hot and heavy.

The next day I was at the office when Fay started calling and sending voice messages, one after another.

"Honey, my stomach hurts. The baby's coming. Come take me to the hospital, quick."

Only after that message did I get in the car and drive home.

I opened the door and found Benedict Lawrence there. A classmate of mine from college.

He was inside, helping Fay gather her hospital bag and a few other things.

Junior year, it was Jesse Dickerson, our class head, who set Fay and me up.

Jesse's girlfriend lived in the same dorm as Fay, and the two dorms threw a mixer. That was how Fay and I met.

Afterward I asked her out shopping and to movies, and we became close fast.

One afternoon, I saw someone giving Fay flowers outside the classroom, confessing to her. That someone was Benedict.

Fay told him she wasn't ready to date anyone yet.

Benedict walked off, crushed.

She was the one who asked me to a movie. She told me that since freshman year, Benedict had confessed to her several times, and she'd turned him down every time.

Hearing that, something in me felt a little sweet.

As we talked, we came to a crosswalk, and Fay suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me across.

"The light's about to change, hurry up."

We got across, and she still hadn't let go. My heart was pounding. It was the first time a girl had ever made my pulse race like that.

When we came out of the theater, I kissed her.

Her face went red, but she was smiling, happy.

That was when we became a couple.

We married not long after graduation. For eight years our marriage was good, the two of us in step.

Once my company found its footing, she settled into being a full-time wife at home, and she kept everything running smoothly.

Now I frowned and said, "Benedict, what are you doing here?"

Benedict shot me a glance. "Fay's due tomorrow. She was supposed to go to the hospital first thing this morning. You're only getting home now?"

I gave a small laugh. "She could've called a car."

"If you don't want to take care of her properly, you shouldn't have married her in the first place."

Benedict said, "Tara's tied up, so she asked me to take Fay to the hospital tonight. She'll come by tomorrow."

"If you're any kind of man, you'll be there with her when she gives birth tomorrow."

With that he shouldered the packed bags, helped Fay up, and took her downstairs.

The apartment went empty and still, and all at once I felt uneasy.

The next morning I drove out to the beach with Alma. We'd just finished surfing and were sitting down for a snack when my mother called.

"Herman, where are you?"

"Mom, what is it?"

"Fay had the baby, it's a boy, six pounds thirteen ounces!"

I froze for a second, and something in me stirred, out of nowhere, and I couldn't tamp it down.

"Mom, I'll be at the hospital right away!"

When I got there, I told Alma to head back first.

From down the corridor, I could see my mother and Tara standing outside the delivery room.

My mother was cradling a swaddled bundle, grinning ear to ear.

I hurried over and took him. The tiny thing looked up at me a few times, then shut his eyes again. His features looked so much like mine.

I was thrilled. I was going to be a father.

My mother took the baby back and said, "Fay wants you to go in."

I walked into the room and found Benedict there, spooning thin oatmeal to Fay.

Fay's face glowed with the happiness of someone being cared for.

Seeing me come in, Benedict set the bowl down. "I'll go have a smoke."

I nodded and went to the bedside. Her color was pale.

"Herman, let's just get a divorce."

It caught me off guard.

"You're really willing to?"

Weakly, Fay said, "The divorce papers are on the table. I already signed them."

"You're sure you want this?"

She was quiet for a moment, then nodded.

"All right, then. If that's what you want, let's divorce."

I looked down and smiled, and picked up the papers and the pen.

No one knew that everything I had done was for this one thing: to divorce Fay.