Chapter 4

The business with the taxi was quickly forgotten, because I got pregnant.

When Caspar heard the news he was beside himself. He cut a business trip short and drove back from a thousand miles away.

"I'll put in for leave tomorrow. You stay home and don't lift a finger. I've got everything."

"Listen to yourself. I'm only three months along."

I was happy, of course, but I didn't think things needed to go that far.

"My mom was still out in the fields six or seven months into carrying me. And my job isn't half as hard as that."

Even so, Caspar came with me to the office and got all my leave approved.

That night, lying in the bedroom, I could hear him in the living room, calling my parents.

"Mom, Dad, Prissy's expecting."

"No, no, it's our first, and whether it's a boy or a girl, I'm just glad..."

Call after call went out, and as I was drifting off, I heard a name.

"Brendan, your sister's pregnant... All right, I get it. You get back to what you were doing."

The next morning he was up making a full spread of breakfast, and he'd even asked his mother to come over.

"You two are still too young. Three months along before you even noticed."

She was scolding, but her whole face was smiling.

"Prissy, from now on you tell me whatever you feel like eating. Don't you dare go without."

After breakfast, I hurried Caspar off to work.

Once he was gone, his mother drew me down onto the couch beside her and spoke with real weight.

"Take my advice. Stop worrying about your brother."

"I believe there had to be some reason behind that scene he made at the wedding, some hard spot he was in. You should still keep up with him the way family does."

"But some things you just keep straight in your own mind. That's all."

Not two days later my parents showed up, arms full of tonics and supplements.

My mom was like his mother. Once she got going she couldn't stop, all her stories about being pregnant back in the day.

As it started to get dark, the two of them said they had to leave.

I pressed them again and again to stay, but it was no use. As we were saying goodbye, I couldn't help asking about Brendan.

"What's he been up to lately?"

My father sighed, his face a tangle of things.

"What else would he be up to? Sitting around that auto shop, either playing cards or drinking."

"And you're not going to do something about him?"

I'd never counted on my mother when it came to reining in my brother.

But what disappointed me was that my father shook his head too.

"He's grown, there's no controlling him now. Same as you, isn't it?"

Watching the two of them walk away, something sat heavy in me.

I knew what my father meant.

My husband Caspar's family and mine knew each other inside and out.

That was exactly why my father hadn't much wanted us to marry.

"That Caspar boy looks steady, but he's bold, too bold. You won't be able to keep him in hand."

Back then, I'd reacted hard.

"He isn't the kind of person you're making him out to be."

In the end, when nothing else worked, I threw my brother Brendan back at him.

"Maybe get your own son in line first. My marriage is mine to decide."

I remember it clearly. After I said that, my father's eyes went wide, and for the first time in front of me, he cried.

When Caspar came to formally ask for my hand, my father didn't object again.

Three days before my due date, I checked into the hospital to wait it out.

Easing me down onto the bed, Caspar reminded me gently.

"Don't think about anything. I'm right here with you."

I thought about it, then said quietly,

"Call my brother."