Chapter 4

Mom was slipping fast.

The blood from her head had soaked through my cuff, and her hand, warm at first, was going cold little by little.

I was frantic.

But the emergency line said there were no cars free nearby and told me to keep waiting.

Mom couldn't wait.

I turned, set my jaw, and dropped to my knees in the middle of the road.

Cars kept coming, one after another.

I could have split my forehead open on the ground and not one of them would stop.

In the end it was a kind couple who drove us to the hospital.

My clothes were already soaked through with blood.

But I didn't dare let up for a second.

The doctor looked at the results, his face grave.

"Bleeding inside the skull. She needs surgery right away."

"Any later and we may not be able to save her."

I forced myself upright long enough to sign the consent form, then ran with the papers to pay the fees, get the blood, admit her.

My stomach hurt like someone was wringing it out from the inside.

Every step I took, everything went black for a moment.

A nurse saw me bracing myself against the wall and couldn't help asking.

"Hey, aren't you the patient who was admitted yesterday for a stomach bleed? What are you doing over here?"

"Where's your family? How can they let you run around alone like this?"

I looked down at my own signature in the family box on the form and gave a small shake of my head.

"I don't have any family."

Max had abandoned me, again and again.

The light above the operating room came on.

I sat on the long bench, Mom's blood still on my palms.

My phone buzzed all at once.

Debbie had posted something.

"Some kinds of love never need to be said out loud."

In the photo she was wearing my pajamas, lying in the bed I shared with Max.

Only a small square of gauze on her wrist.

Max sat on the edge of the bed, head bent, blowing on a spoonful of chicken soup, feeding it to her one spoon at a time.

I stared at that photo for a long time.

Those pajamas were what Max had given me on our wedding anniversary.

He'd said the color suited me, and that no one but me was allowed to wear them.

That spoon was one we'd made together on our honeymoon.

He'd said it was a memory that belonged only to us, something to keep for a lifetime.

And now he'd forgotten all of it.

The tears fell down my cheeks one drop at a time.

I clenched my teeth and called Max.

It rang a long time before anyone picked up.

The voice on the other end was Debbie's.

"Vivi, are you looking for Max?"

I could faintly hear water running in the bathroom.

Debbie gave a soft little laugh.

"He worked up such a sweat just now, taking care of me."

"He's in the shower now. Was there something you needed? I can pass it along."

She said it so easily, so suggestively.

As if it were her bedroom, her husband.

I gripped the phone, but my voice came out strangely calm.

"I want a divorce."

The line went quiet for a few seconds.

Then Debbie laughed.

There was a smugness in her tone she couldn't quite hide.

"Vivi, are you still upset about what happened with your mom?"

"Max said he only bumped into her, just barely. She lost her footing on her own. You can't blame anyone for that."

I didn't want to hear it.

I looked at the sealed doors of the operating room and said it slowly, one word at a time.

"Tell Max I'll be waiting for him at the county clerk's office at nine tomorrow morning."

"If he doesn't show, I'll make him pay for it my own way!"

Debbie didn't agree to anything.

She paused for a moment, then burst out laughing.

"Vivien, don't talk so big."

"There's something... you still don't know, is there?"