Chapter 5

After that, I went through four or five boyfriends. They were immature, arrogant, fake... I didn't even know what I was looking for.

Maybe a shadow of Ethan.

But none of them had it.

I grew tired, bored, and empty.

No one could replace Ethan.

Just like no one could replace Vivian in his heart.

Ethan refused Vivian's money and his family's money. He had to pay rent and study at the same time.

Before his exams, he got into a fight at his part-time job.

Some thugs broke his right arm with a chair.

He completely missed his Harvard admission exams.

Of course...

I was the one who paid those thugs.

Mrs. Sinclair couldn't take it anymore. While Ethan was hospitalized, she literally fell to her knees in front of Vivian.

"Please leave him. You two don't belong together. I won't let my son ruin his life!"

"Get out of his life. You will only drag him down."

"Do you want me to die right in front of you? Have you no shame? He cannot have any stains on his record!"

Ethan couldn't have any stains. He was a luxury product waiting to be sold.

If he got dirty before he was put on the market, his value would drop.

Vivian stood on the hospital balcony in the freezing wind all night. As the snow began to fall, she finally gave in.

Before she left, she blocked and deleted everyone. For Ethan, she left a sixty-second voice memo.

"Can you play this for him?" she asked me.

I promised I would. But the moment she turned around, I hit the permanent delete button.

He would never hear it.

When Ethan was discharged and went back to his apartment, everything belonging to Vivian was gone.

He lost his mind.

Ignoring the raging blizzard, he dragged his broken arm all the way to the Vance mansion.

He begged Mrs. Vance, he begged me, he even fell to his knees in the snow.

The boy knelt on the white snow, wearing nothing but a thin shirt, snow piling on his hair and shoulders.

His face was flushed red from the cold, but his eyes were filled with desperate hope.

It was the first time I had ever seen him so broken, so unhinged.

"Elena, you know where she went, don't you? Please, tell me! I'll go crazy without her!"

The first time Ethan ever begged me, it was for another woman.

Watching his agonizing pain, a twisted sense of joy washed over me. This was his punishment for leaving me.

But after the joy, came a crushing emptiness.

His love for her was deeper than I could ever imagine.

So, I lied to him.

Ethan muttered a quick thank you and ran off into the dark.

Watching him disappear, I collapsed onto the snow.

It was so cold. Just like when I was ten and fell into the frozen pond.

Even the spot where I lay was the same.

But this time, there was no light, and no Ethan.

"Don't go. You two will never have a happy ending."

"Ethan! Don't go!"

After a long time, I covered my face and laughed like a madwoman.

Go ahead. Run. You're heading in the complete opposite direction anyway.

I pressed my arm over my eyes, hot, salty tears sliding down my temples. I couldn't count how many tears I shed.

When I was five, I swore I would never become a liar like my mother.

But today, I told the biggest lie of my life.

Looking at him kneeling in the snow, it felt like years ago when the sun framed him like a savior.

Back then, his hand was warm, pulling me out of the freezing water.

Now, his hand was colder than the snow. And I was the one who pushed him in.

How wonderful, Ethan.

Now, we are both freezing.