Chapter 2

I sat on the couch and called them one by one, every relative and guest.

"I'm sorry. Tomorrow's wedding is off."

Again and again, until my voice went from trembling to numb.

My parents were the last call. I gave them some story about a serious illness in Rod's family that meant he had to go back, and let that cover everything.

I heard the ache in their sighs on the other end and hung up fast, before they could catch the catch in my throat.

The lab overseas asked me to send a detailed résumé and a summary of my condition. I wiped my eyes and opened the laptop.

That was when I noticed Rod's messaging account still logged in.

A pinned avatar kept blinking. The name saved beside it was Sybilla.

Something pulled me in, and I clicked.

The chat was a Rod I had never seen.

With me, he was always mature, level-headed.

But with Sybilla Pruitt he sent all kinds of cute stickers, went soft, clung to her.

"Rod, chemo hurt so much today."

"Easy, sweetie. Wait for me, I'm coming to be with you."

Reading those tender little words, I felt the cold spread through all of me.

Back when he was pursuing me, I knew he had an ex he'd never gotten over, so I didn't say yes.

But he kept at it. He chased me for a whole year.

He even broke with his family to marry me, over their objections.

Back then he looked into my eyes, full of feeling.

"Sonia, now and always, you're the only one I love."

I closed the laptop in a hurry and stood, and knocked the diary off the table by accident.

A yellowed photo slipped out from inside.

I bent to pick it up and froze on the spot.

Written in the bottom right corner was Sybilla Pruitt.

And the face in the photo was seventy percent me.

My hands shaking, I opened the diary.

Every line was heavy with feeling for Sybilla Pruitt.

"Met a girl today named Sonia Swanson. The way she smiles, it looks so much like you."

"I can't help wanting to be near her. I'll just treat her as your stand-in."

So from the very beginning it was never me he loved. He only saw someone else through me.

I dropped to the floor, tears pouring out and refusing to stop, and as every little moment of the past came back, the pain stabbed at my heart like needles until I couldn't breathe.

I sat there on the floor a long time, long enough that the tears finally ran dry.

The phone rang all at once. It was Rod.

"Sonia, Sybilla can't be left alone right now. I probably won't be home for a while. Take care of yourself."

"Once I'm through this stretch, I'll make it up to you properly."

I opened my mouth and found I didn't even have the strength to demand anything.

"All right."

For a whole week after that, Rod never showed up. Just the odd message now and then.

I had no time to grieve. I was busy cleaning up the aftermath of the canceled wedding.

And when it was all done and I dragged my worn-out body home, I saw Rod walking Sybilla out of a restaurant, holding her steady by the arm.