Chapter 4

The next day was the day our daughter was cremated.

I wanted Angela and me to see her off together, one last time.

But the agreed hour came and went, and Angela never showed.

I called more than a dozen times. No one picked up.

The four thousand five hundred dollars for her time, she'd taken.

The three hours she'd promised, she'd forgotten.

The coordinator came to hurry me again. I swallowed down every ounce of grief and pressed one last kiss to my daughter's little face.

I watched, helpless, as she was rolled into the cremation chamber, and I dropped to my knees, ruined.

I don't know how long passed before a staff member handed me a small box.

Grief and rage twisted together in my chest as I drove straight to Matthew Fox's place.

Angela rented it for him. Thirteen thousand a month. She never once mentioned splitting the bill.

The apartment was loud with noise. Matthew saw me first.

"Well, look who it is. What's Rupert doing here?"

"Mochi popped out three baby boys. Angela said we had to celebrate properly."

Angela stood in the middle of the crowd, cradling the dog, her face flushed and glowing.

When she saw me she froze for a beat, then raised an eyebrow.

"Since you're here, might as well join the fun. Don't forget to chip in a gift for Mochi."

"Oh, right, whatever you eat or drink gets charged separately. Just pay Matthew directly."

I stood in the doorway, cold all through.

Today was the day our daughter was cremated.

And she, the mother who bore her, was standing here in a red dress, throwing a birthday party for a dog.

Someone nearby snickered.

I stood where I was, a joke.

"I'm not here for the party."

"You promised me three hours this morning. Why didn't you come?"

Something flickered in Angela's eyes.

"I just couldn't get away, all right? Mochi just gave birth, Matthew can't handle it all on his own."

"I wasn't breaking my word on purpose. Just wait outside for a bit. Once I'm done, I'll go with you."

Fine. I'd wait.

Just this one last time.

Wait for her to say a proper goodbye to our child, to lay our child to rest.

I turned and went out to the stairwell to wait. I don't know how long it was before Matthew came out holding a glass of red wine.

"Rupert, you're actually waiting?"

"You don't really think Angela loves you, do you?"

"Let me tell you, you're just a stand-in. Back when I left, she just grabbed you off the shelf."

"The one she's always wanted is me."

When I didn't react, his eyes shifted and he leaned in close to my ear.

"You know why she insisted on splitting everything with you?"

"That was a promise she made me. Never spend a cent on another man."

Something in me went cold. Eight years of marriage. The equality and respect I thought we had turned out to be nothing but a promise she'd made another man.

Matthew looked at my white face, and a vicious smile curled at his mouth.

"Oh, and that crash last time, that wasn't an accident either."

"Angela lost a bet to me. I told her to give you a real scare."

"I figured she wouldn't have the heart. Turns out she didn't hesitate for a second."

A buzzing filled my ears, the blood rushing up all at once.

So the crash hadn't been an accident. She'd done it on purpose.

With her own hands, she'd killed our child.

I couldn't stop shaking.

"Aren't you two afraid of what's coming to you?"

Matthew laughed out loud. "Afraid of what? Even if there's a reckoning, Angela will shield me."

"Don't believe me? Want to test it?"

The words had barely left his mouth when he hurled the wine glass down hard against the floor and swung his own hand across his face in a brutal slap.

Then he clapped a hand over his cheek, crouched to the ground, and started to cry, pitiful.

"Rupert, I know you resent Angela for taking care of me."

"But you can't go after Mochi's babies. They're only a few days old…"

Sobbing, he threw himself into Angela's arms.

"Angela, my baby boys are gone…"

Angela looked at the three puppies lying motionless in the whelping box beside her, and she wanted to tear me to pieces.

"Rupert, how can you be this cruel!"

"Those puppies were innocent. You could actually do that to them?"

"It wasn't me."

"Not you, then who? Puppies of this breed go for a hundred thousand at market price. You're paying for them!"

Matthew wept in her arms, gasping for breath.

"Angela, I don't want money. Those were three little lives. You can't put a price on life."

"I want him in mourning for my baby boys, keeping vigil three days and three nights to atone."

Angela didn't find a thing wrong with it.

"Rupert, you're the one in the wrong. Matthew isn't asking for too much."

"Keep vigil for the dogs three days, apologize, and we'll call it even."

My stomach heaved, and I retched up a mouthful of blood.

"Rupert, what's wrong with you?"

Matthew sniffled. "He, he isn't trying to fake being sick to weasel out of it, is he?"

Angela stood there, brows knotted, glaring at me in displeasure.

I dragged the corners of my mouth into a smile.

"Three precious dog lives. Mourning clothes, three days of vigil, how could that ever be enough!"

"Angela, would my daughter's life be enough to pay him back?"

I flung our daughter's death certificate hard into her face.

Angela stared blankly at the words on it, the color draining from her face inch by inch.

"Rup, Rupert…"

"What happened to our daughter?"