Chapter 4

I spent one night in the hospital.

My flight to the United States was tomorrow afternoon,

so I meant to leave first thing in the morning.

Instead I heard the familiar voices coming from the room next door.

"Charity, do you really have to go make some movie? What's wrong with staying in short dramas?"

"The short-drama scene is small, and the people in it are easy to manage. With me backing you, the production values will be higher than any full-length film, not lower."

"You can shoot it however you want, take whatever award you want. Isn't that better?"

Charity asked, her voice sulky.

"Why is it fine for Celine and not for me?"

"You're not like her!"

"How am I not like her? The only thing I've got on her is my looks, so where else do I fall short?"

James went quiet.

Just when I had run out of patience to keep listening, he spoke.

"You're clean. I want you to stay clean."

It felt like my chest caved in.

Even my stomach began to burn along with it.

No wonder.

No wonder, three months ago, when a village bachelor groped me on that rural shoot and I called him.

All I got was his cold reply: "Report it to the police first. I have to keep an eye on Charity at her wrap party. I'll come find you once I'm done."

Until the crew got me out.

Until we came back from giving our statements.

Until the wrap, and still not one word from him.

Was it because he thought I wasn't clean, that I wasn't worth it?

The voices in the room went on.

"But I just want to do movies. That film Celine has, the one where the lead's in a wheelchair, let me have it, okay~"

James hesitated.

Because when he asked me to mentor the newly signed Charity, he had promised me she wouldn't compete in my lane.

If she started acting too, the scramble for resources would only get worse.

"Please, James, big brother, husband. Nothing will happen to me with you here."

"And there aren't many hard stunts in the film. I promise I won't hurt the baby."

James caved in the end, laughing softly. "All right, all right, what am I going to do with you."

For a moment my mind went blank.

I could barely breathe.

By the time I came to, I had already shoved the door open. "Baby? James, you and Charity have a baby?"

I had sensed James and Charity crossing a line.

So every year I brought up marriage once, trying to remind James of the promise he had made me.

But I had still been too naive.

I had believed him.

When James saw me, surprise crossed his face, then guilt, and even a flicker of relief.

He stood in front of Charity.

"Since you know now, there's no point hiding it. Charity's pregnant, so that's why I'm not marrying you this time."

"I don't want this child branded an illegitimate bastard the moment it's born, so the marriage has to go to Charity for now. Can you understand that?"

I raised my hand and slapped him across the face.

"You still want me to be your mistress? Understand that yourself!"

"James, we're done."

James took the slap. "I understand you're upset. You're angry right now. We'll talk properly once you've calmed down."

I turned and left.

I didn't look at him again.

Like a stray cloud drifting far off, thinner the farther it got from him.

There it was again.

That feeling of something slipping through my fingers, of being lied to.

James tried to take a step toward me, but Charity threw her arms around him. "Husband, does it hurt? Celine's gone too far. Why would she hit you again?"

Looking at her pretty, coy face, the unease in his heart faded.

How, he thought, could she ever slip away from me?

My contract was signed with his company all along.

Like holding the string of a kite he controlled.

Two days later, in the name of the company I was signed to, he had the film swap the female lead for Charity.

The director was stunned. "Mr. James, you mean the script where Celine was set as the lead?"

"Her? She withdrew from the role three days ago."