Chapter 4

"Are you done?"

I asked.

The line went quiet for a second.

Then the man snapped right back into the role of father.

"What kind of attitude is that? Xavier's willing to smooth things over with you, that's him being the bigger person. You apologize to him right now, and then you go back and treat him properly."

I hit the end-call button.

Xavier's face changed.

"How could you hang up on an elder?"

"He's not your father-in-law."

"He will be, sooner or later."

Xavier's tone softened, like those words were enough to put me at ease.

He pushed the necklace box in front of me.

"Yesterday's over. Put it on, let's see how it looks. I'll redo the anniversary with you tonight."

The lid was open, a flower pattern pressed faintly into the velvet.

I didn't touch it.

Rosamond studied my face and let out a soft sigh.

"Astrid, you're just too sensitive. If Xavier really wanted to betray you, why would he let me help pick out your gift? We've been best friends all these years. Do you honestly think I'd steal your boyfriend?"

She finished, then looked at Xavier.

"Since we're already out, let's find somewhere to eat. The anniversary got ruined and that's partly on me. My treat."

Xavier nodded.

"Let's go to that sushi place you love. Last time you said their sea urchin was really good."

Rosamond laughed and touched his arm.

"You still remember?"

"You brought it up a bunch of times. Hard to forget."

The two of them started working out the route.

The sushi place wasn't far from the coffee shop. Rosamond liked window seats, Xavier remembered she didn't eat wasabi, and he remembered she wanted her latte at only a third of the usual sugar.

I sat across from them like a stranger they'd squeezed in at the last minute.

Xavier couldn't even keep track of my period.

I was allergic to seafood, and he'd forgotten that too.

For three years, every time I got upset, the two of them would hand me a punishment. Rosamond made the rules, Xavier played the part of obedience, and I did the job of feeling guilty about being unhappy.

They'd built a game around my emotions.

The more uneasy I got, the more important Rosamond became.

The angrier I got, the more wronged Xavier looked.

And the moment I bowed my head, they each walked away with what they wanted. One got dependence, the other got forgiveness.

"Astrid, what do you feel like eating?" Rosamond finally asked me.

"Anything's fine."

Hearing that, Xavier's shoulders eased.

He thought I'd given in.

"Sushi it is, then. After we eat, I'll drive you back to the dorm. No more scenes today."

I stood up and put on my coat.

Xavier was still looking at the menu, head down.

Rosamond smiled and said, "I knew Astrid could never really stay mad at you."

I picked up my phone and walked out of the coffee shop.

Cold wind poured in at my collar. I zipped up the coat and got onto the bus parked at the curb.

As the doors closed, Xavier's message popped up.

"Where'd you go? We're about to head out."

I opened the chat and typed one line.

"Xavier, we're breaking up. Rosamond, I heard that voice message. I hope the two of you won't have to use my name to meet up anymore."

The message sent.

I didn't wait for a reply.

Messaging app, phone, every social app, I blocked them one by one. I left the group chat we shared and deleted the entire anniversary album.

The last photo was taken last winter.

Rosamond stood between me and Xavier, an arm hooked through each of us. Back then I actually believed this photo held the two most important people in my life.

I pressed delete.

The bus pulled into the station.

I dragged my suitcase into the ticket hall and bought a seat on the next train home.

The announcement in the waiting room came on, telling passengers to start boarding.

Calls from unknown numbers kept flashing on my phone.

I ended every one of them, powered it off, took out the SIM card, and tucked it into the deepest pocket of my backpack.

Once the train started moving, the city lights slid past the window, row after row.

I leaned back against the seat, holding nothing but a ticket home.

This time, I wasn't waiting for anyone.