Chapter 1

On the day I was diagnosed with cancer, I ran into my husband at the hospital, his arm around another woman as they walked into the fertility clinic.

I gripped the report in my hand and followed them without thinking, and his gentle words drifted back to me one after another.

"Don't be scared, Blanche Gilbert. Medicine is so advanced now. Even if you can't carry a child, we'll still have our own."

"Boy or girl, it doesn't matter. Everything under my name belongs to the two of you."

The woman nestled into his arms, melting against him.

I looked at the luxury she wore head to toe, the newest fruit-brand phone in her hand, then looked down at myself.

Jeans washed pale, a loose baggy T-shirt, and a phone I'd used for five years with three cracks across the screen.

Then I thought of that morning, when I'd asked him for two thousand for a follow-up test, and how put out he'd been.

"The economy's this bad, and you sit at home all day doing nothing. Do you have any idea how hard it is to earn money?"

He hadn't asked what was wrong with me, or why I needed a follow-up. He just slammed the door and left.

Now I understood. He simply didn't want to spend the money on me.

I didn't storm in and make a scene. I just quietly downloaded more than a hundred loan apps.

……

1

Inside the clinic, the two of them pulled out an assortment of documents from a designer bag at the doctor's prompting.

I spotted them at once, those two bright red marriage certificates.

But I hadn't even divorced him.

I took out that five-year-old phone, snapped a photo in secret, then switched to video.

On the screen, my husband called the woman his wife, carefully asking about the IVF procedure and writing down every instruction.

The picture of a devoted husband. Watching it made me want to throw up.

No wonder he'd rejected the idea of a second child, no wonder even at night he was always somehow not up to it.

Whenever I reached for him, he either went through the motions or shoved me off outright.

"Dorothy Fletcher, do you have nothing else to do all day? Do you know how exhausting work is? Do you have any idea how hard it is to make money in this economy?"

"Can you stop bothering me? I'm not like you, sitting at home with nothing to do, obsessing over this pointless stuff day and night."

"If you can't sleep, go mop the floor, do the laundry, go for a run. Look at that spare tire on your belly. It's a real turn-off."

He'd say all that, roll over, and be asleep in seconds, leaving me to toss and turn alone.

I even tried everything I could think of to build his body back up, and it was just as disappointing. He only got worse.

So it turned out that, like his money, he'd been spending his energy on someone else too.

I didn't hurry to put the phone away until the two of them stood to leave, then slipped out quickly ahead of them.

Now wasn't the time to blow things up. Early-stage lung cancer. There was still hope of a cure.

To stay alive, I had to pretend I knew nothing.

Swallowing the ache in my chest, I took the crumpled medication bill up to pay.

I ran three different bank cards and still couldn't cover the cost of the medicine.

Just then my husband walked past behind me with that woman, the two of them hand in hand, all affection.

I happened to hear them planning it all, sushi for lunch, the bag she'd reserved to pick up at the Hermès boutique, new clothes, a spa treatment.

His eyes were soft the whole way through, not a trace of impatience.

"As long as my baby's happy, spend whatever you want today. Your husband's got plenty of money. I can afford you."

I let out a bitter laugh and called him.

I heard his ringtone go off, watched him hang up on the spot. I called again, and he cut it off again.

Then he sent me a careless text just to be rid of me.

【In a meeting. Can you stop bothering me? Whatever it is, we'll talk at home!】

Right away I sent back a photo of the medication bill and a screenshot of the insufficient balance.

【I'm sick. Early-stage lung cancer. The doctor says it can be cured if I start treatment now. I don't have enough for the medicine. Transfer me some first.】

I'd still overestimated his conscience. It was a good while before his reply came.

【What are you doing at a hospital when there's nothing wrong with you? A healthy person walks in and comes out sick. I asked the AI, yours is nothing, just buy a couple boxes of anti-inflammatory pills and take them for a few days.】

【I think you just have too much time on your hands, so full you go waste money at the hospital. Get yourself back home, now!】

【Money, money, money, that's all you know. I transferred you three thousand at the start of the month. You spent every cent, didn't save a thing?】

I couldn't be bothered to read another of his messages. I downloaded a loan app right then, and with a shake of the head and a few taps I had enough for a month's worth of medicine.

It really was so convenient. Even easier than opening my mouth to ask him for money.