Chapter 3

Three months ago, I found Fabian Fox and Stella Butler tangled together in one bed.

That same night, I got the first of these so-called "calls from the future."

I believed what the voice on the line told me. I believed they'd been set up by a business rival, and I forced myself to forgive them.

But in the countless days and nights that followed, I kept going back to that moment, over and over.

Caught in that endless loop, I found out I was pregnant.

For me, back then, the only light was that child. It was my hope of starting a new life.

When I told "future me" about it, the woman on the other end of the line grew anxious.

"Nat, you can't keep this baby. Fabian and Stella already feel so guilty toward you."

"Stella especially. If she found out you were already pregnant when she did that to you, she'd never be able to live with herself. And if she died, do you really think you and Fabian could ever be happy?"

"Trust me. End the pregnancy, and don't tell anyone. You're both still young. You'll have other children."

Maybe it was because the person on the line was future me, or maybe because by then I was already at my breaking point.

In this whole world I had nothing. Only Fabian Fox and Stella Butler.

I actually listened to her. I went to the hospital alone and ended it.

When she heard me say it was done, the voice on the other end almost broke.

"Nat? Are you blaming me? But I'm you too. That was my child as well. Do you think it didn't hurt me?"

"But I know you better than anyone. If something had happened to Stella because of this baby, you really would have blamed yourself until you couldn't go on."

I already knew who was on the other end of that line, so of course I wouldn't believe a single word she said anymore.

But my baby was truly, truly gone.

I sat on the couch holding the phone, not moving.

By the time I came back to myself, my face was already wet with tears.

I didn't answer her. I just hung up.

The sky outside had gone dark, and I was still sitting on the couch in the same position, unmoving.

When Fabian came home, that was what he found. Me, sitting on the couch.

He set his coat down gently to one side, walked over, and crouched in front of me so we were eye to eye.

"I'm sorry, Nat. I was too harsh with you today."

"But you shouldn't have treated Stella that way these past couple of days. She's a girl, and she went through something like that. These three months have been hard on her too."

"All right. Tomorrow I'll find time for the three of us to have a meal together. We'll talk it all out, go back to the way things were. All right?"

I looked straight into Fabian's eyes, searching for one honest trace of remorse.

It was a long while before I spoke.

"When you apologize to me, is it because you really feel you've wronged me?"

"Or because you don't want it to hurt your company's IPO?"