Chapter 1

On the day my mother died, I walked in on my husband, Lambert Stephens, in bed with his student, Deidre Henson.

I lost control, fell down the stairs, and hemorrhaged badly in a difficult labor.

My brother, Les Pruitt, beat Lambert savagely, then pointed at Deidre's face and cursed her.

"If anything happens to my sister, you two dogs are going to the grave with her!"

I survived, but my baby was gone.

Lambert knelt at my bedside, begging my forgiveness.

"I'll send Deidre abroad and cut it off completely. Forgive me this once, and let's live a good life together."

I agreed.

But ever since then, I began having hallucinations.

Whenever I saw other people's children on the street, I would stop and stare at them for a long time.

Every child's eyes and brows looked exactly like the one I'd lost.

I became a regular at the hospital's psychiatric department.

Until one day, I ended my session early and took a taxi home alone.

Through the window, I actually saw Deidre Henson, Lambert Stephens, and Les Pruitt.

They were celebrating a five-year-old boy's birthday.

Les's voice came, full of feeling. "Thank goodness Eleanor's baby's heart was transplanted into him back then, or he'd never have lived to this day."

"It's just been hard on Deidre and Harvey, having to live away all these years."

Section 1

Les's words were like a bucket of ice water poured over my head, and I felt as if I'd fallen into an ice pit.

The little boy blew out the candles, looked up at Lambert, and whined.

"Why can't I live here! I want to be with Daddy!"

Lambert crouched down to soothe him.

"Harvey, be good, don't fuss."

I couldn't bear to keep watching, so I turned and left.

The night wind blew, and I went cold all over and shivered.

I wandered aimlessly to the park and sat down on a bench.

Memories flooded back like a tide.

Six years ago, I had just finished my mother's funeral.

I came home and walked in on Lambert and his student Deidre Henson lying in bed.

I lost control, fell down the stairs, and hemorrhaged badly in a difficult labor.

Les stormed into the hospital, beat Lambert savagely, then pointed at Deidre's face and cursed.

"If anything happens to my sister, you two dogs are going to the grave with her!"

My life was saved.

But my baby was gone.

Lambert knelt by the bed, his eyes red, and said he would send Deidre abroad at once, cut it off completely, and never see her again.

I believed him.

But after that, I was left with a condition.

I couldn't bear to see children. Any child's face on the street would remind me of the one who didn't survive.

Everyone gave in to me.

They looked at me with pity, treading carefully, afraid a single word might wound me.

My mind was full of the image of that boy just now calling Lambert "Daddy," and my heart felt like it was being crushed in someone's grip.

So it turned out Lambert and Deidre had never broken it off at all, and had even had a child.

So it turned out my baby had been cut open, that heart taken out and placed inside another child's body.

So it turned out my own brother, my closest kin, had known everything from start to finish, helping Lambert and Deidre keep it from me for six years.

Tears struck the back of my hand, and the pain was so sharp I could barely breathe.

I bent over and pressed hard against my chest.

I don't know how long passed before my phone suddenly rang.

Lambert's gentle voice came through the receiver.

"Eleanor, the doctor said you left early on your own. Where are you?"

I bit my lip and tried to keep my voice steady.

"There are stars out tonight. I'm walking in the park."

He said gently,

"It's turned colder lately. Don't stay out too long, come home soon."

After I hung up, my feet felt like they weighed a thousand pounds as I walked, step by step, back to that so-called home.

I pushed open the door, and the place had been put back the way it always looked.

All those balloons and streamers were gone, as if everything I'd seen through the window had been a hallucination.

I stood at the entryway without moving, my gaze landing on the crack in the sofa.

There was a red toy car there.

Lambert followed my gaze, reached over and pulled out the toy car, his tone offhand.

"I spent a while this afternoon playing with a coworker's kid. He kept insisting on riding on my shoulders. It probably fell out then."

He glanced at me and smiled.

"What, are you starting to imagine things again?"

My throat tightened.

"No."

He walked over, unlocked his phone, and set it in my palm.

"For six years I've clocked in and out on time every single day and handed over every paycheck. You've got nothing to worry about. Here, look through my phone, all of it."

No password, the chat history spotless, my name pinned at the top.

But the phone case had changed.

A frosted one, a limited-edition couple's case that had gotten really popular online lately.

I handed the phone back to him.

"No need to look. I'm tired, I'm going to rest."

He took the phone, ruffled my hair, and spoke in a doting tone.

"Okay, get some rest. I'll go to the kitchen and prep the ingredients so I can make you some stew tomorrow."

With that, he turned and went into the kitchen.

I stood where I was, my stomach turning over.

How could he be so calm?

As calm as if he'd rehearsed those words and gestures countless times.

As if every strange thing were nothing but my imagination.

I walked to the bedroom door and looked toward the kitchen.

Lambert was bent over his phone.

The corners of his mouth curved slightly as he held down the voice button and lowered his voice.

"She's resting."

"I'll come see you first thing in the morning."

The next day, Lambert got up very early.

He moved very quietly, and even put on cologne before leaving.

I hailed a taxi and quietly followed behind him, all the way to the outskirts of the city.

Before long, Deidre came out.

The two were chatting and laughing, as if they were heading out to shop.

I stared blankly at the house in front of me.

It was actually here!