Chapter 4

My grandma lived on a farm in the countryside, where the phone signal had only one bar and there was almost no WiFi.

On the first day I arrived, I locked my phone in a cabinet.

Every day, I got up at five to jump rope.

In the morning, I power-walked along the wooded trail outside the farm.

In the afternoon, I helped my grandma prune fruit trees, move hay, and take care of the horses.

The meal plan Grandma made for me was chicken breast with roasted vegetables, rotating between oatmeal, brown rice, and sweet potatoes.

In the first week, I lost six pounds, down to 194 pounds.

In the second week, I lost five pounds, down to 189 pounds.

Starting from the third week, the weight dropped more slowly, so I added two thousand extra jumps every day and one set of strength training.

In the fourth week, I was 180 pounds.

In one month, I had lost a full twenty pounds.

There were changes in the mirror, but they were not obvious enough.

My face was not as round anymore, but my jawline was still blurry, and my body was loose and sagging like deflated dough.

I did not waver at all.

Continue.

In the fifth week, I was 173 pounds.

In the sixth week, I was 166 pounds.

I turned on my phone for the first time.

Dozens of messages flooded in.

Nina’s messages:

[Nicholas came to me! He asked where you went! I played dumb!]

[He asked again today! He even asked if you changed your number!]

[Hahahaha guess what he said? He said, “She’s definitely just throwing a tantrum. She’ll be back in a couple days.”]

I let out a sneer.

Throwing a tantrum?

Nicholas Reed, you really think too highly of yourself.

I kept scrolling.

Nina had sent more:

[He’s getting closer and closer to Chloe Summers. Today Chloe posted a photo of them playing ball together. Everyone in the group is saying they might be together.]

I looked at that message.

Then I waited for my heart’s reaction.

Unexpectedly, there was nothing.

It did not hurt anymore.

It really did not hurt anymore.

I turned off my phone and kept training.

In the seventh week, I was 158 pounds.

In the eighth week, I was 150 pounds.

The changes in the mirror started becoming dramatic.

My jawline emerged sharply, my cheekbones became clear, and my whole face looked as if it had been carved all over again.

My body proportions began to show, my collarbones came out, and the lines of my legs changed from thick to long and lean.

But it was still not enough.

I knew the best version of myself had not appeared yet.

Continue.

In the ninth week, I was 142 pounds.

When I went to the pharmacy in town to buy medicine for Grandma, the girl behind the counter froze when she took the prescription.

She stared at my face for a long time.

“You look like some movie star… I can’t remember who right now.”

Grandma quickly pulled me away.

After we got home, Grandma sat on the porch rocking chair and worried.

“Your mother was like this back then too. She was chubby as a kid, and no one paid attention to her. Then she suddenly slimmed down, and the whole high school went crazy.”

“You’re even more dramatic than your mother.”

I thought Grandma was exaggerating too much.

In the tenth week, I was 135 pounds.

I turned on my phone for the second time.

Nina’s latest message:

[Nicholas told me to tell you that if you don’t join the Harvard freshman group soon, it’ll be too late. His exact words were, “Is she still throwing a tantrum? Tell her I won’t pay attention to her when the time comes, so she shouldn’t get her hopes up.”]

I looked at this sentence and could not help laughing.

Even now, he still thought I would go to Harvard University.

He still thought I would chase after him like I used to.

Nicholas Reed, what kind of dream are you living in?

I replied to Nina:

[Don’t tell anyone I went to Stanford University to study computer science. Including him. Let him find out himself.]

Nina replied:

[Okay! I can’t wait to see his face!!!]

In the eleventh week, I was 125 pounds.

Grandma officially forbade me from going out alone.

“When you went to town to buy things the day before yesterday, those college boys in the supermarket kept following you. Did you know that?”

“…It can’t be that serious, right?”

“Go look in the mirror yourself!”

I went to look.

Then I fell silent.

In the mirror was a face… even I found unfamiliar.

A height of five foot nine and a weight of 125 pounds had released every advantage of my bone structure.

My features looked delicate, as if someone had drawn them stroke by stroke.

The corners of my eyes tilted slightly upward, my eyes were a pale blue, and my lips were a very light rose color.

My collarbones looked like butterfly wings, and my waist looked small enough to hold in one hand.

The mole at the corner of my eye was like the final stroke, pushing my whole face from “pretty” to “stunning.”

I stared for a long time.

So what Austin Walker said was true.

In the twelfth week, I was 110 pounds.

Grandma stood behind me and let out a long sigh.

“What a sin. Your parents spent more than ten years fattening you up, and now it’s all wasted.”

I finally could not hold back. “What are you all talking about? What happened to me when I was little?”

Grandma shook her head and refused to say.

She only muttered:

“After school starts, wear a hat and sunglasses. Don’t cause trouble.”

I replied, “Okay.”

But in my heart, I thought—

Nicholas Reed, on October third, you will look for me in the crowd of freshmen checking in at Harvard University.

You will search every classroom in the law school.

You will go through every freshman list.

But you will never find the name Serena Hayes.

Because I am no longer there.

I will never stand behind you again.