Chapter 4

After that day, I moved into the hospital dormitory.

I never went looking for Bartholomew again. Now and then I caught sight of him in the news, or in Peggy's posts.

While he was out, I went back to the apartment once and packed up everything that belonged to me.

In the two years we'd been together, he'd hardly ever given me a gift, and I didn't own much either, so it didn't take long.

As I pulled a piece of clothing from the bottom of the closet, a photo slipped out of the pocket.

It was the two of us, taken the year we graduated high school.

That year he'd gotten into Columbia, and I'd applied to New York Medical University because of him. The day the acceptance came through, he'd tugged me over to the school gate and taken this picture.

He'd smiled and said to me, "Future Dr. Fox. From now on I'm counting on you to save lives."

But now what he says is, "Regina, can you really not stand to see anyone else do well?"

I looked at it for a long time. In the end I just picked up a pair of scissors and cut apart the photo that held our whole youth.

The day before I left for Montana, I went to see Bartholomew's grandmother.

She was in decent spirits, but the sight of me seemed to shame her.

"Reggie, dear, I've heard about everything between you two. He was in the wrong. Let me apologize on his behalf."

I shook my head.

"It's all right, Cheryl Harding. I came to say goodbye."

"The hospital put together a medical team going out to the frontier. It's a year. I'll come see you again when I'm back."

She looked startled, then sighed. "Have you told him?"

"Not yet. I'll tell him when I go. He doesn't love me, and I won't force him. This is where we end. I won't be able to honor the engagement you arranged."

She was quiet for a long while, and in the end she nodded.

"You know, back then I wasn't just playing matchmaker on a whim. I watched that boy grow up. He guards himself so closely, but he was willing to bring you to meet me, willing to let you see him when he wasn't strong. I knew you were special to him. I'd wanted to bring you two together for a long time, so I used repaying you as the reason to set it up."

"But from then on I watched him treat you worse and worse, until he wouldn't even listen to me. He said I'd been fooled by you, that you'd charmed me with sweet talk. But what kind of person you are, do you think I don't know by now?"

"All these years, every time he came to see me, you came with him, finding new ways to cheer up an old woman. And that time my heart gave out, if it hadn't been for you, I'd have been gone from this world long ago."

"Never mind. Maybe it's this old woman who got it wrong. He isn't good enough for you. You'll find someone better someday."

When she'd finished, she pressed a card into my hand.

"I've thought of you as my granddaughter for a long time now. Such a pity we never got the chance to be family. Out there, you take good care of yourself."

I couldn't help it. I cried.

The day I left, sitting on the plane, I opened the message thread I hadn't touched in so long and sent Bartholomew a message.

"Let's break up."