Chapter 1

On the day of our engagement, Amos Harris went off to play hide-and-seek with his autistic sister again.

The elders had been waiting a long time up front, so I found Amos on the balcony and started pulling him back inside.

"Get engaged first. Don't keep everyone waiting."

We hadn't even made it off the balcony before the girl came barreling straight into me.

"Bad, bad, the bad person who won't let Lily play her game."

I was standing too close to the railing. There was no time to react.

My whole body tipped backward over it.

My back slammed hard into the flowerbed, and a crowd came hurrying down.

Lillian crouched beside me, balling up her little fist and driving it into my cheek.

"Bad person, bad person."

Amos gently closed his hand over her fist, and the look he gave me was reproachful.

"I was in the middle of a game with Lily. Why did you have to come cause trouble for no reason?"

Then he turned back to soothing her.

"Stop hitting. You'll hurt your hand."

Everything ached. I struggled to grab hold of him, to stop him from leaving.

He pulled free of me in one motion.

"Just lie here and take a minute. I'll finish the game with Lily first, or she'll be miserable all day."

My parents watched Lillian bounce along behind Amos, playing her game.

They smiled at her, warm and doting.

The rest of the guests didn't even glance at me. They followed the two figures back into the hall.

The same as so many times before.

If this was how it was, then fine—call the engagement off.

...

The painkiller had just started to take effect.

The door to the hospital room opened.

Amos's eyes landed on the hanging IV bag, and he paused.

"You got hurt?"

I nodded.

"I fell. Cracked a rib."

His brow eased a little.

"If only I'd caught it in time back there."

He rarely ever admitted he'd done anything wrong.

Something in me loosened. I thought he really understood he'd been in the wrong.

The next second.

"It's just a cracked rib, though. It's nothing."

"In a bit you'll check out and go apologize to your sister. She didn't get to finish her game because of you, and she's been throwing a fit at home."

"She says unless you play horsey and let her ride you, she won't eat a thing."

Playing horsey is a deeply humiliating game.

You get down on all fours on the floor while someone sits on your back, and you carry them along step by step.

He patted my shoulder as if to comfort me.

"Once she's had her fill, I'll have a talk with her, get her not to make trouble at our next engagement."

I pushed his hand away, my chest packed tight with something I couldn't let out.

"I'm getting engaged to you, and I'm the one who has to go begging her?"

"At the engagement you shoved me aside because you were scared she'd get upset. I got hurt and you didn't even look at me, you just ran off with a whole crowd to fuss over her."

"You care about her this much, then go and—"

I didn't get to finish. The door burst open again. Lillian came charging in clutching a doll, puffed up with anger.

She swung the doll straight at my face.

"Sister's bad, sister's mean."

The IV needle was yanked loose, and my head throbbed with each blow.

I grabbed the doll, trying to wrench it away and throw it aside.

Amos dragged me straight down onto the floor.

"Lily, don't be angry. You wanted to ride the horse, didn't you?"

My chest hit the ground hard.

Lillian plopped down onto my back, her body bobbing up and down.

Her voice was bright with delight.

"Ride the horsey, ride the horsey."

Afraid I'd fight back, Amos pressed his hand down hard on the back of my neck.

"Right now the most important thing is that Lily's happy. Let her play a while."

"As long as Lily's happy."

So, as long as she was happy, whether I lived or died didn't matter.

My eyelids grew heavier and heavier.

The promises he'd once made surfaced in my mind, tangled with the laughter on my back.

It turned utterly grotesque.

At least now I saw it clearly.