Chapter 4

It was past midnight when I got back to my parents' place.

Mom was sitting in the living room, her phone playing the video Matthew had uploaded.

When she saw me, she didn't ask where I'd been, or why my clothes were still soaked.

She just killed the screen fast and complained, her face pinched with embarrassment.

"It's already all over the family group chat."

"A grown man, pinned to the ground, scared out of his mind like that. How are your dad and I supposed to show our faces after this?"

I stood in the doorway, my lips white with cold.

"Mom."

"I don't want to marry Daniela anymore."

Mom shot to her feet.

"What's gotten into you now?"

"She helps treat your condition, and you want to call off the engagement?"

"Matthew came back from overseas with a master's in psychology, and Daniela was only trying to help you. How can you not tell right from wrong?"

I went rigid.

Mom kept going.

"Besides, you were beaten so badly your body's a wreck and your mind isn't right either."

"Daniela didn't hold that against you, she's still willing to marry you. That's more than enough decency."

"You break it off with her now, and what normal woman would ever want you?"

So in Mom's eyes, I'd already become a broken-down cripple.

If Daniela was willing to have me, I should be down on my knees with gratitude.

I clamped my hands over my ears, and it felt like countless needles driving into my skull all at once.

"Mom, stop..."

"Why should I stop?"

Mom yanked my hands down hard.

"You're a grown man. You still need the whole world revolving around your sickness?"

"You're the one who walked down that alley late at night. You're the one making scenes about killing yourself every day."

"Something happens to you and the whole family has to share the shame. Who are we supposed to complain to?"

I stared at her, stunned.

Even Mom had forgotten.

Three months ago, that night, Daniela had called me out of nowhere and asked me to bring a bid proposal to the hotel.

The meeting was starting in half an hour.

Her voice was so frantic it cracked.

"Dylan, this document decides whether the company survives."

"I can't get away right now. You're the only one I can ask."

It was pouring outside, no way to get a car.

I was afraid of holding up her project, so I ran three blocks with the documents in my arms.

To save time, I cut through that alley.

Those men took my wallet and my phone, and then they went for the bag with the documents in it.

I held onto it for dear life, and I never let go, not even after they beat me unconscious.

Later, Daniela won the project with that document still stained with my blood, and the company pulled through the crisis because of it.

But no one remembers why I was in that alley at that hour in the first place.

They only remember that I became difficult after that, fragile, the one who gave everyone no peace.

Mom was still talking.

"Daniela is so good to you."

"Those months you were in the hospital, she took care of you day and night, didn't even go into work."

"You don't cherish a woman like that, you'll regret it someday."

Was Daniela good to me?

She really was.

The first night after it happened, I wouldn't let anyone near me.

So she sat two meters from the hospital bed and kept watch the whole night.

Later I was afraid to shower alone.

So she stood outside the bathroom door and talked to me through it.

I wouldn't turn off the lights, so she swapped every bulb in the house for warm ones and stayed up with me all night, eyes open.

Once I jerked awake in the middle of the night and shoved her off the bed without meaning to.

She split her forehead open on the corner and never blamed me for it.

She just sat on the floor, smiling at me through the pain.

"It's okay."

"It's okay if you never get better. I'll be right here with you."

Back then, she really did hold me like something precious.

That's why, when Matthew said he wanted to treat me, I trusted them without holding anything back.

But yesterday, in that alley.

It was this same woman, who once asked my permission just to hug me, who let a handful of strangers pin me down and beat me.

And who agreed, on my behalf, to let Matthew release that video.

Her patience lasted three months.

My nightmares might follow me the rest of my life.

My phone suddenly lit up.

Matthew had posted a new update.

【First solo treatment, a complete success. Someone said I'd worked hard and rewarded me with a sunrise trip to the mountaintop.】

In the photo, Daniela had her head bent, fastening that limited-edition watch onto Matthew's wrist.

A tent was pitched behind them.

String lights and a bonfire turned the bleak mountaintop into something romantic and warm.

Mom leaned in for a look, and something like relief crossed her face.

"What a good boy Matthew is."

"Educated, capable, and such a cheerful nature."

"He gave up his job overseas just to treat your condition, and all you know how to do is be a burden to him."

She paused, then sighed.

"Honestly, if only Matthew were my son."

"At least he wouldn't be like you, dragging the whole family's head down in shame."

In that moment, every sound crowded into my head at once.

The cold of the blade pressing into my neck came back.

The blast of the glass bottle shattering echoed in my ears, over and over.

I pressed my hands hard against my head.

But the video of Matthew explaining the "treatment," and Mom's voice calling me a disgrace, still wouldn't stop.

"Stop..."

"Please, I'm begging you, stop..."

Mom just frowned, impatient.

"Here we go again."

"Daniela's put up with you this long, and you still don't know when to be grateful."

"Hurry up and call her and apologize."

"Get down off your high horse. Beg her, if that's what it takes, to hold the wedding as planned."

Then, all at once, I couldn't hear anything.

The laughter and screaming churning through my head all went quiet in that instant.

I lowered my hands, turned, and walked toward the balcony.

The railing was already loose, and the wind of the eighteenth floor blew straight into my face.

Mom was still pushing behind me.

"Do you hear me?"

"You call Daniela right now."

Since Daniela already had someone she'd rather protect.

And Mom already had the son she'd rather have.

Then I shouldn't exist anymore.

Not until my body dropped into the dark did Mom's endless talking finally stop.

Behind me there was only one shrill scream.

"Dylan!"