Chapter 1

A few men grinned as they tore the clothes off me.

My fiancé and my best friend sat at the mouth of the alley, eating ice cream.

I fought with everything I had, my nails dragging bloody streaks down the wall, screaming Daniel Delgado's name over and over.

But he never moved.

He even scooped up a spoonful of ice cream and lifted it, slow and easy, to Theresa Swanson's lips.

Only when I had cried until I couldn't breathe, until my voice had gone raw and gone,

did those men finally let go of me.

Daniel came forward with a smile and helped my limp body up off the ground.

"Tessa just got her master's in psychology from overseas. She says the only way to fully desensitize you is to recreate the trauma."

Three months ago, when I went to bring Daniel some documents, a few men dragged me into that same alley.

I've had severe depression ever since.

The sound of a man laughing makes me shake.

Night after night I jerk awake from nightmares, and the only way I can prove to myself I've escaped that nightmare is to hurt myself.

Seeing me sitting on the ground with my face streaked in tears, Theresa gave Daniel's arm a little shake and smiled, pleased with herself.

"See? Shock therapy really does work."

"She went through something this intense and didn't cut herself again. That means the self-destructive urges are already easing."

Daniel let out a visible breath of relief.

"You really do know what you're doing."

They looked at each other and smiled.

As if the two of them had truly cured me together.

I looked down at my bloody fingertips, and suddenly I was smiling too.

That night, brilliant fireworks spread across the surface of the river.

Alone, I walked up onto the bridge where Daniel had once proposed to me, and I threw myself off.

1

The freezing river water rushed into my nose and mouth in an instant.

Just as my consciousness was slipping away, Daniel grabbed my arm and fought to push me back up above the water.

When I opened my eyes again, I was lying on the bank.

The moment Daniel saw me breathing again, the fear in his eyes turned to fury.

"If you wanted to swim, why not go to a pool?"

"Running into the river in the middle of the night, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

"What if I hadn't seen you? What then?"

Theresa walked over, wearing Daniel's jacket.

She patted her chest, still shaken.

"Thank god Daniel was here setting off fireworks for me tonight."

"Otherwise, this late, no one would have seen you fall into the river at all."

I followed her gaze.

Across the river, the fireworks still hadn't ended.

Golden bursts of light rose into the night sky in cluster after cluster, mirrored back on the churning surface of the water.

So while I was desperate enough to give up my own life, Daniel had been down by the river on a date, alone with Theresa.

The instant the fireworks burst open again, I suddenly thought of two years ago.

Daniel had proposed to me on this same riverbank.

That night, he'd prepared a sky full of fireworks too.

The light lit up his face as he went down on one knee in front of me, so nervous he could barely hold the ring steady.

"Maya Coleman, I'm going to work to make you the happiest person in the world."

His vow was so sincere back then.

I reached out my hand, crying, certain I finally had someone who would never abandon me.

But just now, in that alley,

I screamed his name over and over until my voice gave out.

And he stood only a few steps away, watching calmly as I fell back into the nightmare.

And now, in the very place where he'd proposed to me, he'd set off the same grand display of fireworks for another woman.