Chapter 3

At twelve, the school held a parents' meeting.

I'd placed first in my grade. Rebecca had placed third from the bottom.

Mom spent the whole afternoon sitting in Rebecca's classroom.

I waited until dark, and my seat stayed empty.

The teacher asked me, "Where are your parents?"

I said, "Mom had something come up."

She sighed and stroked my head.

At thirteen, my fever spiked to a hundred and four.

I dragged myself up to get some water and passed out on the living room floor.

That night, when Mom and Rebecca got back from their trip, they found me lying there, and Rebecca screamed in fright.

"Mom, Sis didn't die at home because we didn't take her on the trip, did she?"

Mom pulled her into her arms right away, aching for her.

"Don't be scared, don't be scared. Your sister's fine."

Then she kicked me. "Quit playing dead. Get up and cook. Your sister's hungry."

I climbed to my feet.

The room spun around me.

But I still went to the kitchen and boiled two bowls of noodles.

Rebecca said they were too salty and smashed her bowl on the floor.

Mom yelled at me. "What's wrong with you? Salty enough to kill somebody. Make it again."

I crouched down to pick up the broken pieces.

A shard cut my finger open.

Mom didn't even look.

At fifteen, I got into the best high school in the city.

Rebecca didn't even make the cutoff score.

Mom paid thirty thousand in placement fees to get her in.

Thirty thousand. Half a year of Mom's salary.

My middle school tuition had been free, waived entirely because my grades were so good.

Mom was thrilled. She'd saved a chunk of money.

Then she bought Rebecca a new backpack, new school supplies, new clothes.

I carried the same old backpack I'd used for six years of elementary school to my new school.

My classmates laughed at how shabby I looked.

I said, "It's fine. A backpack just has to hold books."

At sixteen, I wanted to go to a math olympiad summer camp.

It cost two thousand.

Mom frowned. "That expensive, and for what? Your sister still wants to sign up for dance class. The money has to go to her first."

Later, Rebecca got her dance class.

Thirty-eight hundred.

She went three days, complained it was tiring, and never went back.

The money wasn't refunded either.

At seventeen, I won first prize in the state math olympiad.

I brought the trophy home so carefully, loving it so much I couldn't decide where to keep it safe.

Rebecca, jealous that she had nothing like it, shoved it off onto the floor and shattered it.

I cried so hard I almost fainted.

Mom stood there and said, "Broken's broken. It's just a stupid cup. Is it worth all this?"

My eyes were red from crying. "Make her pay me back for my trophy!"

Instead Mom got worked up and scolded me for making a scene.

"The fortune-teller already said it. Your sister's short-lived. She won't make it past twenty."

"You're the older sister. You not only won't give in to her, you're fighting with her over this!"

In the middle of the night, I heard praying coming from Mom's bedroom.

"I beg the gods, take fifty years off my elder daughter's life and give it to my younger daughter."

That was when I finally understood.

In front of Rebecca, everything of mine had to yield to her.

All because the fortune-teller said my life would be long and hers would be short.

So even my life itself was supposed to make up for hers.

After that I turned quiet, obedient, well-behaved.

Anything Rebecca had her eye on, I would never fight for.

Even during winter and summer breaks in college.

I stayed away and worked instead.

For a while, back then, there was a brief peace.

Until eighteen, when I started dating.

My boyfriend was Leopold Dudley. Good family, good-looking, good to me.

The first time Rebecca met him, she blushed.

"Sis, your boyfriend is so handsome."

I didn't think much of it. Leo loved me, and he was faithful, so it didn't seem like anything to worry about.

Later Leo came over for dinner.

Rebecca kept drifting around in a spaghetti-strap nightgown.

Mom pulled Leo out onto the balcony. "Leo, honey, our younger girl is the sweeter one. You should give her a good look too."

Leo laughed, uncomfortable.

Rebecca walked right up and hooked her arm through his. "Leo, help me with this problem, would you?"

Leo awkward and ill at ease, Rebecca setting out to seduce him.

Mom stood beside them grinning ear to ear.

And me, I went cold all the way through.

After a huge fight, I came home less and less.

Until the day of my twenty-second birthday.

To help Rebecca get what she wanted, Mom actually got Leo drunk on purpose.

She had Rebecca change into my clothes.

And then she pushed her into Leo's hotel room.