Chapter 1

After the first time was over, my best friend Lola crawled out from under the bed, picked up the ultra-thin condom beside the trash can, shook it at me, and tossed it back in.

"Little Tania, congratulations on going from a girl to a woman!"

I was shocked and mortified. I frantically grabbed the sheet to cover myself. Thinking about how my first time had been overheard from start to finish, I shrank into the corner, so shaken my teeth were chattering.

"You—you two..."

Leonard gently rubbed my head to soothe me and began to explain:

"Lola said she's your best friend, and she absolutely had to be the first to congratulate you on this irreplaceable moment when you went from a girl to a woman."

"You know how she is—she never gives up until she gets what she wants. She wore me down so much I couldn't have gotten anything done unless I said yes."

Lola planted her hands on her hips, put out, and cut in.

"That's only part of it. The main thing is, I wanted to be a 'human lie detector' for little Tania. From your breathing and how you performed in bed, I could tell whether you really love little Tania that much."

Leonard asked, curious:

"Oh? So how did I do? Did I satisfy Miss Simmons?"

"Hehe, how could one test be accurate? You'd have to test a few more times to know for sure."

The two of them carried on as if no one else were there.

No one noticed my hand reach for the fruit knife in the fruit bowl on the nightstand.

This was impossible.

It had to be a dream.

My mind, under the enormous shock, began to drift, and everything in front of me felt fake.

I couldn't believe that my best friend and the boyfriend I loved most would plan it out together—one in the bed, one under it—to end my innocence in the cruelest way possible.

The laughter went on in my ears.

Dreams don't hurt.

In a daze, I reached out and picked up the fruit knife, gripped the handle, aimed it at my wrist, and without hesitation slashed down hard.

The instant the blade broke the skin, beads of blood came surging out, one after another.

They ran down my wrist bone onto the white sheet, a spreading patch of dark red.

Lola, who had been laughing so hard she could barely straighten up, looked up—and her expression froze.

Only then did Leonard turn to look.

I lowered my head, staring at the split-open wound, and murmured in a daze, as if sleepwalking:

"So it's not a dream."

"It hurts so much."

I stared blankly at the two of them rushing toward me, as if I were looking at two strangers.

Lola grabbed Leonard first.

"Don't touch her."

"But Tania's bleeding a lot."

Lola planted herself in front of Leonard, her tone calm yet stubborn:

"I read an article that said a lot of women get a feeling of detachment after their first time, like their bodies don't belong to them. That's what's happening to Tania right now—she wants to use this to regain her sense of control over herself."

"If you touch her right now, it'll only make her lose even more control over herself, and she'll try to take that control back in an even more extreme way."

Lola laid it all out, point by point.

Leonard drew his hand back, trusting her without a shred of doubt.

"Then... what should we do now?"

Lola spoke with certainty:

"We should be understanding with Tania. If she wants to do it this way, we won't disturb her—we'll give her enough time and space to slowly take back control on her own."

"Leonard, let's go eat first. After going at it that long, you must be starving. I booked us a restaurant—really classy."