Chapter 2

2: 2

Across the crowd, Jonathan found my eyes at once.

For a moment we looked at each other. Then he pulled his gaze away.

Something seemed to strike him. He took Julia's hand and said,

"Jules, everyone from the village happens to be here today. There's something I want to say to you."

"One of my legs is ruined. I was hoping you'd help me get it treated."

"I won't just eat and drink off you for free. I'll work for it."

Julia hadn't expected any of this from him, and she hesitated.

Julia wasn't like me.

I carried a longing for a family in my heart. Julia only looked out for herself.

"Trust me, Jules. I'll become the harbor magnate of Harborport, and I'll give you a rich life."

"I'm not taking this money for nothing. Call it a loan."

"From now on I'll go out to sea with you. I'll help you make money."

At the word sea, Julia's eyes lit up.

"You can dive for sea catch too?"

She'd seen the catch I pulled up and sold at the docks. It was worth good money.

Jonathan nodded, those starlit eyes fixed on Julia with open indulgence.

A look I'd never once seen in my past life.

We were courteous as strangers, and yes, he could feel sorry for me.

But that look was never the kind of love between two people who wanted each other.

Julia said yes, and the whole of her sprang up and hung off Jonathan's waist.

"Jon, I believe you. Let's go into town, quick, and get the marriage registered, so you'll be mine and no one else's."

Jonathan only drank it in. He bent his head, and one pale hand stroked gently over Julia's hair.

In my past life, when Jonathan cooked in the kitchen, I loved to wrap my arms around him from behind.

He never pushed me away. He'd just mock me, sneering that a grown woman shouldn't act so childish.

Given enough time, I actually came to believe he was cold by nature.

I didn't linger. I turned, took the boat out, and went to bring in a catch.

That afternoon I came back with a full load, and ran into Julia and Jonathan holding their little red marriage booklet.

Jonathan didn't notice me. He was grinning like a fool at the booklet in his hand.

In my past life I'd looked just like that.

Except when he'd held our booklet, the smile in his eyes ran deep and heavy, nothing like this clean, pure joy, this face that held nothing but the longing to be married.

Julia called out a greeting to me.

Only then did Jonathan tuck the booklet away, lift his lids, and glance at me.

We were headed the same way, so we walked together.

I walked behind.

Jonathan and Julia went ahead, hand in hand.

Jonathan walked with a limp, quickening his pace to keep up with Julia.

I knew about the injury to his leg.

He couldn't walk too fast. The scabbed-over wound would split open again.

In my past life, if I walked even a little too fast, Jonathan would sulk and say I wasn't waiting for him, and then wait for me to come coax him out of it.

He was easy to coax. For a while I believed he was only easy to coax with me.

But it turned out he could do without the coaxing too.

Now he kept step by step with Julia, and didn't even dare say it hurt.

The sun was too harsh. Jonathan lifted his jacket and tucked Julia snugly under his arm, shading her completely.

His arm was strong, the line of it smooth and fine.

In my past life, out at sea, I'd wanted Jonathan to shield me from the sun with his arm.

He did. But he was careless in the end, and the sun came through the gaps. Shielded or not, it made no difference.

Back then I comforted myself. A man's heart just isn't as fine-tuned as a woman's, I thought.

That evening, Julia and Jonathan came together to borrow my boat.

Around this time in my past life, on a lone little island I'd come across a whole stretch of sea worms and sold them for a good sum.

Jonathan must have wanted to try his luck.

But those sea worms, I'd already taken in and sold that afternoon.

Jonathan was afraid I wouldn't lend the boat to him.

"Miss, if you'd be willing to lend it to me, how about I give you forty percent of the haul when I come back with a full load?"

Julia had no objection.

I'd lent her the boat plenty of times before.

She had at least that much grace in her.

I lent them the boat.

Jonathan gave Julia a kiss.

"Don't worry. We'll make our first pot of money soon, and once my leg heals, our life will only get better and better."

Julia's eyes curved with her smile.

"Once we've made the money, I'll get your leg fixed."

Watching him press that tender kiss to another woman's forehead, something in me turned bitter.

But soon enough my family would find me, and then I'd leave the fishing village for good.