Chapter 4

On the day of the livestream, I was up at five in the morning.

The day before, I'd gone with Judith to her follow-up, then taken Ronald for his shots, and that night I'd sorted all the childcare material Sabina needed for the stream. All told, I'd slept less than three hours.

Ken was already calling from outside first thing.

"Mom, the brand people are coming at nine. Hurry up and get the baby food ready."

I could only force myself up.

Once the stream started, Sabina sat in front of the camera talking about food pairings and sleep schedules, Judith beside her holding Ronald. Every word out of their mouths was something I'd written the night before.

And I crouched off camera, handing things over, soothing the baby.

An hour into it, my vision kept blurring. My hand shook as I carried out the fruit plate, and I nearly dropped it.

Sabina quickly muted her mic and frowned.

"Mom, be careful. Over a hundred thousand people are watching!"

I braced myself against the table, my chest tight and heavy.

"Sabina, I'm not feeling well. Let me rest a while."

She glanced at the stream.

"Hold on a little longer. The brand sponsor segment is almost here."

I nodded. But before long I couldn't even stand. I could only lean against the wall and slowly sink down.

"Ken, call 911 for me."

His face changed at once.

"Now?"

"My chest hurts."

No one helped me. I had to take out my own phone, and before I could dial, he snatched it out of my hand.

"Mom, the stream isn't over. How bad would it look for an ambulance to show up right now? Just hang on a bit longer."

I looked at Sabina, not believing it. I thought she'd surely step in for me. Instead what she said was,

"Mom, can you hold on one more hour? This stream is worth a hundred and twenty thousand. If something goes wrong, we're the ones who pay."

My heart dropped hard. In the end I still pushed myself up against the wall.

"Then I'll go lie down inside for a bit."

They walked me into the storage room and hurried back out to keep streaming.

Before long Sabina's laughter drifted in again from outside.

"The most important thing in raising a child is a family that looks out for each other."

What happened after that, I don't know.

When I woke again, I was lying in a hospital bed. The doctor said I'd gone too long without sleep, that I had low blood sugar and an irregular heartbeat, and that it would be dangerous to push any further.

But there was no one at my bedside.

It wasn't until the afternoon that Sabina rushed in. The first thing she said as she sat down was,

"Mom, you've really put us in a mess this time. The brand people know you got hauled off in an ambulance, and now they're holding the balance."

I froze.

"Sabina, your mother nearly died."

She paused, then quickly frowned again.

"But didn't you always stay up late back when you were a postpartum caregiver? And in the end we did send you to the hospital, didn't we?"

Hearing that, something in me went cold all the way through. I was silent a long time before I said,

"Sabina, once I'm discharged, I want to go stay at my own place for a few days."

Her face turned ugly in an instant.

"What's that supposed to mean? You think we've been treating you like a maid?"

I said nothing. But she pulled out her phone right then.

"Fine. Since you insist on keeping such clean accounts with your own daughter, then let's settle up properly. You lived in our home for two years. Rent, water and power, food, I won't even nickel-and-dime it. Just give me thirty thousand."

I stared at her, unable to believe it.

"For the past two years there was Ronald's formula, his diapers, all the household spending!"

She cut me off flat.

"You bought all that yourself. Did I force you?"

That one sentence pinned me down cold. In the end, I still transferred the thirty thousand over.

Only when Sabina saw the money land did her expression ease.

"Mom, it's not like I'm really counting it against you. Rest up for a couple days. Once you're better I'll come get you."

With that, she turned and left the room.

The door wasn't shut all the way. I heard her on the phone outside.

"Mom, I got the money. Thirty thousand."

Judith's voice came through the receiver.

"Don't you go letting the yogurt thing slip. Everyone knows she bought it. I just couldn't stand her helping herself to things in my house."

My whole body went stiff. But Sabina only laughed.

"I know, Mom, don't worry. I'm not going to fight with you over her. I'm married now. I know where my real home is."

Judith gave a snort.

"She needed to be taught a lesson this once. Otherwise, after living there long enough, she'd really think she's the elder, that she can call all the shots. You put in a few sweet words too. When your sister-in-law has her baby, we'll still need her to go take care of the postpartum recovery."

Sabina didn't care in the least.

"Relax. My mom's the easiest to win over. I'll cry a little in a couple days and she'll come right back."

I lay in the hospital bed, and the tears came all at once.

My daughter was no longer my daughter. And I shouldn't go on being her mother anymore.

A long while later, I picked up my phone and found the number I'd turned down two days ago.

This time, I didn't hesitate.

"That job at your training center. Are you still short on people?"