Chapter 1

When Hugh Gilbert dropped to one knee to propose, the whole restaurant broke into applause.

He held up the ring, and in his eyes was the same gentleness I once trusted more than anything.

"Zoe Whitman, marry me. I'll spend the rest of my life being good to you."

In my last life, those words made my eyes sting, and I said yes.

After we married, he was diagnosed with cancer. I sold the jewelry I'd owned before the wedding and mortgaged the apartment my parents left me.

I knelt in front of every relative I had and borrowed one point seven million, all so he could live a few more days.

In the hospital room, he held my hand and said that once he recovered, he'd take me to see the ocean.

But after he died, I found the messages on his phone, the ones he'd sent to his first love, Marianne Henson.

"I wish I'd married you back then."

So the husband I'd emptied everything to save spent his dying breath regretting he hadn't married someone else.

I clutched his phone and cried until I passed out. When I opened my eyes again, the proposal applause was ringing in my ears.

Hugh saw that I hadn't taken the ring, and his brow creased slightly.

"What? Too moved to move?"

I looked down at the ring, wiped away the tears clinging to the corners of my eyes, and looked at him. I asked softly.

"Hugh, are you sure I'm the person you most want to marry?"

……

The smile in Hugh's eyes stalled for a beat.

He was still down on one knee, holding up the ring, but his fingers tightened just slightly.

"Zoe, why would you ask that?"

"Who else would I want to marry, if not you?"

I'd heard that line too many times. In my last life he'd always soothed me the same way.

When I was angry, he said I was his only family. When I was hurt, he said that once we had money, he'd make it up to me.

It wasn't until after he died that I learned his someday had never included me.

I stared at the diamond ring, my throat tight, and a stubborn voice inside me said maybe this life would be different.

Maybe that text was just a dying man's small regret for the past. Maybe the one he really loved was still me.

I was reaching out when the phone in Hugh's pocket suddenly rang.

He glanced down at the screen, and his face changed at once.

Marianne Henson's name flashed on the display.

His first love. And, in my last life, the one he couldn't let go of even as he died.

Hugh didn't answer right away. He looked up at me as if he wanted to explain something.

The phone rang again, the ringtone sharp and urgent, and he finally picked up.

"Hello? Mari?"

I stood where I was and didn't move. On the other end came the muffled sound of a woman crying.

"Hugh, I twisted my ankle. I can't get up."

"The power's out in the stairwell again, and I'm scared here by myself…"

Hugh shot to his feet, forgetting to even close the ring box.

"Don't move. Lock the door. I'm coming right now."

I watched him grab his coat and stride toward the restaurant door, and only when his hand touched the handle did I speak.

"Hugh."

He turned back. I asked him, "Weren't you in the middle of proposing to me?"

His expression froze, and a flicker of impatience surfaced on that always gentle, well-mannered face.

Quickly he softened his tone again.

"Zozo, Mari is really frightened right now."

"She's over there all alone. She doesn't have any family."

"I'll go check on her and be right back."

He said it so easily, as if refusing to nod along would make me the unreasonable one.

I curled my fingers tight. "And me?"

Hugh stood frozen, then walked back and stroked my hair.

"You're different."

"You've always been strong. You understand me best."

"Don't hold it against her, all right?"

He pressed the ring box into my hand.

"Hold on to this for now."

"When I'm back, I'll give you a proper proposal."

Then he turned and left. It was raining outside, and Hugh ran out without even taking an umbrella.

The violin was still playing in the restaurant, and a waiter stood nearby holding champagne, his face awkward.

Around me, people murmured.

"Did she just get stood up at her own proposal?"

"Who was that woman just now?"

"That guy was in an awful hurry."

I sat back down in my chair. The steak on the table had gone stone cold.

The bouquet of ninety-nine red roses sat in front of me, water beading on the petals.

Hugh had once told me that ninety-nine roses meant forever. But he couldn't even give me one evening.

I waited until the restaurant closed, and Hugh never came back.

At one in the morning, a message finally arrived.

【Mari's ankle is badly swollen. The doctor wants to keep her for observation.】

【She's scared to be alone, so I'm staying at the hospital with her tonight.】

【Go to sleep first. I'll come get you tomorrow.】

I stared at the screen for a long time without moving.

The Hugh of my last life had been just like this, running to Marianne again and again at the very moments I needed him most.

On the anniversary of my mother's death, he went to an art exhibit with Marianne.

When my fever hit a hundred and four, he went to help Marianne move.

When I started bleeding during my pregnancy, he rushed to the airport in the middle of the night, saying Marianne had gotten drunk and couldn't be left alone.

Every time, I told myself he was just loyal, just devoted.

He was just soft-hearted, just felt sorry for Marianne.

Until the day I lay on the bench outside his hospital room, clutching the payment slip, kneeling to beg relatives for money.

And he lay unconscious, calling out Marianne's name.

The phone screen went dark, and I slowly opened the ring box.

The diamond inside was bright, but I didn't put it on.

I set the box back on the table, turned, and went into the bedroom. Tomorrow was the anniversary of my mother's death.

Hugh had promised me that this year, no matter what, he would come with me to the cemetery.

I wanted to trust him one last time.