Chapter 3

I called my best friend. I wanted to come stay with her for a while.

She said yes right away, happy to have me.

As for everything with Winston, I understood now that the two of us were simply wrong for each other.

I planned to use these days to get someone over to the rental soon and move all my things out.

My friend knew I was nursing a broken heart. She'd always sworn off marriage herself, but this week she took time off just to drag me around amusement parks for days on end.

She knew me.

Five years of loving him. Somewhere underneath it all, I still couldn't quite let go.

So the two of us tried all kinds of things I'd never done before. Bungee jumping, skiing, skydiving.

We didn't stop until we were worn out, and even then it wasn't enough. Only then did we head back to her cozy little rental.

But I never expected that when we reached the bottom of the building, Winston would be there, quietly waiting for us.

For once, he spoke up first. "Lauren, these few days I've been gone, you seem like you've been in a good mood."

"Yeah. You're busy, I'm busy."

He was reaching for something to talk about, but I didn't feel like saying much.

"I'm sorry. I neglected you on your birthday."

Out of nowhere, he was apologizing again.

Before, when he'd been off with Eudora, I would have been sick with worry. But now I didn't care, and here he was, wanting to...

It was almost funny, really.

"There's no need to apologize to me. We really aren't right for each other, so if it's over, it's over." I answered him half-heartedly, trying to end the conversation.

He kept hesitating.

Finally I gave Winston a polite little nod. When he saw I wasn't flying into a rage, he looked a bit let down.

"Right, there's one more thing I wanted to tell you."

"I think this relationship of ours..."

Before I could finish, Winston cut in, as if he'd seen it coming. "Lauren, I've already given ground."

He saw my face go stony, and still he kept his tone low. "I really am sorry. It was my fault. So don't..."

I broke his little fantasy without any mercy. "We really aren't right for each other."

"And I'd hope you'd consider my feelings too. That birthday wasn't the first time. But it'll be the last."

"You could go back and read all those apologies you sent me on your phone. There are so many, so many of them. Honestly, so many that... I'm just so, so tired."

Winston was silent for a long time.

He couldn't bring himself to look me in the eye. His voice came out weak. "I'm sorry, Lauren. Please, don't be angry anymore..."

I understood. He was still running from it.

He'd realized something had gone wrong between us.

But the method he'd chosen was to make me apologize until I couldn't stand it anymore.

It wasn't until the door slammed shut with a bang that I remembered: this time, I was the one who'd slammed it.

For me, it was a release.

Ending an entanglement that had gone on too long was my honest confession to the deepest part of my own heart.