Chapter 4

I'd made up my mind to divorce long ago, so I'd already found a place online.

Dragging two suitcases, I went out to the curb to catch a cab.

I'd just gotten into the taxi when I heard my phone ringing in my pocket.

"Even if we've broken up, can't we at least still be friends?" He gave a bitter laugh.

"It's only now that I really understand what a terrible husband I've been."

"These past two years, I got in the habit of ignoring you. I stopped taking care of you the way I should have."

"No wonder you left me. I did such a poor job."

"Lauren, I'll change. I'll go back to being the Winston you used to love, and I'll be even better."

"I won't let you down again."

I sighed. "There's no need. We've already broken up. There's no reason for us to see each other anymore."

Then I hung up.

I settled into my new life easily.

Busy cleaning the new place, buying furniture and decorations, throwing myself into work, squeezing in practice problems between tasks to study for a certification.

From the moment I opened my eyes each morning until I lay down at night, I never stopped.

But I loved every minute of it.

The days were full and happy.

I never thought of Winston again.

Not once.

His future relationships, his life, none of it concerned me anymore.

I'd thought that after breaking up, we'd never see each other again.

That was my plan too.

After all, the world is a big place, and we'd started going our separate ways.

The chances of running into each other would shrink toward nothing.

For all practical purposes, Winston and I would never cross paths again.

But then...

When I ran into Winston again on my way downstairs, I was pretty startled.

What startled me more was that he'd found where I was renting.

"What are you doing here?" It came out before I could stop it.

"Coming home." He pointed to the door across the hall.

"You've got to be kidding." I didn't believe him.

"I'm not kidding." He gave the bag in his hand a little shake. "I just picked up some groceries. I'm going to make a big shared dinner tonight. Want to come eat?"

"Winston, have you lost your mind? Why would you move here?"

"I haven't lost my mind. I'm perfectly rational, and I know exactly what I'm doing." He still had it in him to smile.

"You're a grown adult. You should have some basic judgment. You own a house, and now you're paying extra to rent a place. Do you have so much money you don't know what to do with it? On top of that, this is on the complete opposite end of the city from where you work. You'll waste a ton of time commuting. You're almost thirty. Why are you still doing something this childish? You're past the age of acting on a whim!"

Winston only smiled faintly. "Lauren, it makes me happy. You still care about me."

I tried to break away and go check into a hotel, but Winston wouldn't give me the chance.

He hauled me along by force, insisting on dragging me back home.

"But that home isn't ours anymore."

"Winston, what's done is done. Let's get divorced."

"Why do you have to divorce me?"

He'd wracked his brain and still couldn't figure out why I kept coming back to this one point and wouldn't let go.

In his mind, I'd always given in to him on everything, and he assumed I couldn't live without him.

Our love hadn't come easily. Winston and I had started dating back in college. He was the student council president, top of his class and handsome besides, with a whole crowd of admirers.

I was the type of girl who kept her head down over her books and didn't care for socializing, so when everyone found out we were together, they all thought I wasn't good enough for him.

The truth was, Winston had thought so too at first.

If Eudora hadn't gone abroad to study back then, I might never have had my chance.

So Winston couldn't wrap his head around why I would ask for a divorce.

The way he saw it, choosing me had been an act of charity, and someone on the receiving end of charity had no right to make demands.

He couldn't tell where things had gone wrong, and he'd even started to wonder whether I'd fallen for someone else.

"Lauren, are you doing this on purpose to punish me for neglecting you lately? I swear I'll never do it again, I promise!"

"Let's just set the divorce aside for now, all right?"

Winston tried to seal my mouth with his again, but this time I put up my hand and blocked him.

This time I felt no interest whatsoever. The moment I thought of everything with him and Eudora, disgust rose in me for no clear reason.

I didn't want to go back anymore.

That night, for once in his life, Winston cooked himself, bringing over bags of food he'd made to find me.

I looked at that plate of shrimp and felt utterly let down.

I was allergic to shrimp, and after all these years he still didn't know.

Whether we were eating out or cooking at home, I never touched shellfish.

I only ate some plain rice, and Winston, thinking I had no appetite, deliberately picked up a shrimp and set it in front of me.

I said flatly, "I'm allergic to shrimp."

His chopsticks hung in midair, then he awkwardly drew them back before apologizing. "I'm sorry, Lauren. I actually do remember. My mind just went completely blank tonight."

"It has to be because you brought up the divorce. I've been out of my mind over it. You can't play jokes like that on me again."