Chapter 2

I Drank Half a Can of Beer for Courage and Asked If He'd Go From Childhood Friend to Boyfriend

My head buzzed.

I'd had a crush on Henry Weiss for six years.

On my birthday in junior year, I drank half a can of beer to work up the nerve, and I asked him if he'd go from childhood friend to boyfriend.

He ruffled my hair.

"We'll talk about it after the SATs."

I waited two years.

Now he was standing under the streetlight, ears as red as if he'd just been fished out of a boiling pot.

"I've thought it through."

"Let's go out west together. I'll take care of you."

Tears nearly spilled over.

"We'll see who ends up taking care of who."

Henry smiled and tightened his grip on my hand.

"Then we take care of each other."

The next day, the five of us met at Rupert's place to fill out our college applications.

They laid the forms they'd prepared in advance out in a row.

Every single first choice was out west.

Henry hit submit right in front of me and handed me his phone.

"Inspect the goods."

I saw the green Submission successful, and my heart finally settled.

Rupert teased me for being so suspicious.

"You think we'd all conspire to trick you?"

"Barbara Norris, put your mind at ease."

"Even if the desert wind out there blows you bald, we'll shine right alongside you."

Back then I laughed until I was slumped over the table, unable to sit up straight.

It was only later that I understood.

Some people, when they say they'll walk with you to the very end, never intended to stand with you even at the start.

The graduation dinner was set at a private supper club.

It wasn't just our class who showed up. Veronica Hughes was there too.

She was the campus belle from the class next door, and in less than a year after transferring in, she'd successfully wedged herself into our little circle of five.

The first time Veronica ever spoke to me was in the women's restroom.

Eyes red, she told me the girls in her class were freezing her out.

"They say I'm faking it, that I flirt with the guys on purpose."

"Barbara, I just want to make a few friends."

I felt sorry for her, so I introduced her to Henry and the others myself.

At first she really was sweet.

When we went out to eat, she'd smile and ask what I liked to drink.

When it rained, she'd duck under my umbrella and link her arm through mine.

Then, somewhere along the way, things changed.

Six people in a five-seat car, and the front passenger seat was always hers.

Six milk teas ordered, and the one left out was always mine.

They started a separate group chat, called Five Stars.

I asked why I wasn't in it.

Veronica covered her mouth and laughed.

"Because you're the moon."

"Stars circling the moon. So romantic."

Back then I actually thought it was romantic.

On the day of the dinner, I arrived last.

When I pushed open the door to the private room, the five of them were gathered around the table playing a game.

Veronica sat in the middle, a paper crown on her head.

Henry was peeling shrimp for her.

Rupert was mixing her dipping sauce.

Eustace was busy taking her picture.

Dustin was wiping a water stain off her dress with a napkin.

I stood in the doorway. No one noticed.

Until a classmate called out.

"Barbara Norris is here!"

Only then did Henry look up.

"Why so slow?"

"Three penalty drinks for you in a bit."

I glanced at the crown on Veronica's head.

"Isn't tonight the graduation dinner?"

Veronica touched the crown and stuck out her tongue playfully.

"They insisted on celebrating my acceptance early."

"You don't mind, do you, Barbara?"

"Of course not."

I pulled out the chair at the very end.

Five place settings were already laid out on the table.

The server had to add one more for me on the spot.

The game went on.

Who's the Spy.

The host sent everyone their word on their phones.

In the first round, everyone had to describe the person they'd drawn.

Rupert went first.

"Bad temper. Really hard to please."

Eustace followed:

"Full of herself. Thinks the whole world should revolve around her."

Dustin kept his eyes down.

"Sensitive. Loves dredging up old grudges."

Henry paused a few seconds.

"Controlling."

"And one more thing."

"Really loves clinging to guys who don't like her."

The whole table roared.

I frowned.

They clearly weren't describing Veronica.

But the word on my phone plainly said Veronica's name.

When it was my turn, I thought for a moment.

"Pretty. Good with words. Likable."

Veronica burst out laughing.

"Barbara, why are you praising yourself now?"

I froze.

Henry and the others were doubled over laughing.

The host held up his phone.

"The votes are in."

"Barbara Norris, out by unanimous vote."

He showed me his own word.

Three characters stared back at me.

Barbara Norris.

So mine was the only one that said Veronica.

I was the spy.

And the joke of their whole game.

Eustace laughed and slapped the table.

"Barbara, you're not going to get mad, are you?"

"It's just a game."

"Aren't you the one who can always take a joke?"

I looked at Henry.

He avoided my eyes and set the peeled shrimp into Veronica's bowl.

"Everybody's just kidding around. Don't ruin the mood."

I suddenly thought back to when we were kids.

Five of us splitting four popsicles, and the four of them would each break off a piece for me.

Now six of us sat at one table.

And not even the fifth place setting belonged to me.

Before I could say anything, Veronica set her phone down on the table.

"Oh, right. There's something Barbara should be told too."

The screen was lit.

Four screenshots of successful application changes.

Every school was in Washington D.C.

The time stamp was yesterday afternoon.

It was already past the normal deadline for changing applications.

I lifted my head.

"What does this mean?"

No one answered.

Veronica answered for them.

"It means exactly what you see."

"They're not going out west."

"Henry's applying to the D.C. aerospace program, Rupert to D.C. Tech, and Eustace and Dustin are staying in the city too."

"The five of us agreed. We're going to take care of each other here in D.C."

I heard my own voice go tight.

"And me?"

Veronica tilted her head.

"Haven't you always been so independent?"

"Besides, that program of yours covers room and board. You don't need anyone taking care of you at all."

"I'm different."

"I have depression. The doctor says I can't handle unfamiliar environments, and I can't be triggered."

She pulled the diagnosis out of her bag and gave it a light pat on the table.

"They're worried something will happen to me, so they're staying to keep me company."

"You wouldn't hold something against a sick person, would you?"