Chapter 4

4: 4

Mom hit me hard. In seconds my cheek swelled up.

Cecily stood frozen, unable to believe it.

"Mom, what my sister said... is it true?"

For once, Mom looked flustered.

"Cecily, don't listen to your sister's nonsense. I never once thought that."

I let out a soundless, cold laugh, and said flatly, "Those abortion pills. You were the one who sent me to buy them."

Back when she was pregnant with Cecily, Mom was in bad shape, both money-wise and physically.

On top of that, Grandma had gone to a fortune-teller who said this baby might be a debt-collector come to ruin us.

Mom jumped and threw herself around the house trying to lose it, and when that didn't work, she just told me to go buy the pills.

I brought the pills home. Then she changed her mind.

She stared at me, tears streaming down her face.

"Maisie, I can't get rid of this child. I had a dream. She kept calling me Mommy, over and over."

"I'm keeping this baby."

The night Cecily was born, Grandma led me out of the delivery room.

Through the thick glass, I looked at that little girl bundled in her blanket, and I was wild with jealousy.

I envied that she'd earned Mom's love the moment she was born. I envied that heaven had shown her mercy.

Later I grew up. I'd meant to just muddle through this life somehow.

Why was it that no one would ever help me?

Something surged up hot in my chest. I opened my mouth and coughed out a mouthful of blood.

The two of them jumped at the harsh red splash on the floor.

"Maisie, are you okay?"

Cecily reached out to steady me, but Mom got there first and pulled me down onto the couch.

"Quick, Cecily, get some tissues and wipe your sister off. Don't let her stain your favorite rug."

Something wrenched in my heart.

Cecily wouldn't let it go and took me to a clinic nearby to get checked, but a little clinic couldn't find anything wrong.

When we got back, Mom was busy in the kitchen.

The moment she saw me, she carried over the plate of sweet-and-sour pork in her hands and set it in front of me.

"Eat."

The bowl gleamed with grease. My stomach twisted at the sight of it.

I set down my chopsticks.

"You two eat."

Mom's brow creased, just barely.

"Enough already. Isn't this your favorite dish?"

"If it weren't for you I wouldn't even bother making it. It's a pain, and it takes forever."

I really did used to love it.

When I was little I'd get greedy, and if I ate a few more pieces she'd smack me across the face with her chopsticks.

"How did I raise such a greedy little thing? You eat all that, what's left for your sister!"

She hit me enough times that I stopped liking it.

The doctor said with this illness it's best not to eat greasy food, or it could speed up how fast the disease spreads.

But right now, looking at that flicker of disgust in Mom's eyes.

Suddenly none of it seemed to matter.

I let out a small sigh and picked up the chopsticks again.

"Fine. I'll eat."

I stuffed a bite into my mouth, barely chewed it, then shoved in another piece fast.

Too slow, so I just lifted the bowl and tipped it straight into my mouth. I couldn't taste anything.

My stomach couldn't take the abuse, and it churned harder.

"Ugh..."

I threw up a few times, and blood began to show in what came up.

They stood frozen, only just moving to stop me.

Then blood poured out of me in great mouthfuls, and I lost consciousness completely.

I don't know how long it was. I felt my body go light, turning into a wisp of a soul drifting in the air.

The soul came to Mom's side.

She had a fistful of the doctor's coat and was screaming at him.

"My daughter only threw up some blood, what do you mean she's dead?! You quacks, all of you, I'll sue you!"

The doctor's glasses had been yanked off, and he snapped back at her.

"Your daughter had late-stage lung cancer. She didn't have long left anyway. You're her mother, and you didn't know?"