In the Ugly Duckling's World, Even Swans Are Guilty

Mom loved to look you in the eye and lie.

When she wanted me to give my air-conditioned room to my sister, she pointed at the ninety-five-degree glare outside and smiled, gentle as anything.

"The weather's so nice you won't even need the AC. Switch rooms with your sister."

If I took one extra bite of pot roast, she'd knock the fork out of my hand.

"That meat's gone bad, it'll give you the runs. Your sister's been constipated lately, let her have it."

It went on like that for a long time.

Until today, when I came home from the hospital and ran into a door-to-door salesman.